We got guys who can score. We got a Sasquatch. Here's the plan. Huddle up. Guys who can score? Get out there and score. Todd, we can solve our problem with one five minute major. Just slam Marian Gaborik into the boards, put him in the hospital, the series is ours. To recap: you guys who can score, score. Todd, hospital. Dan, just keep doing what you're doing. Jovo, no changing the plan. Got it?
Friday, April 18, 2003
Friday, April 11, 2003
Dunno where this came from... realitycek found it. It explains a LOT.
NHL Refereeing 101
Somebody wasn't paying attention during refereeing school. Detroit's Chris Chelios marvels at the gall of an official who dared to penalize the Wings during their playoff series against the Canucks.
The scene is a classroom where a group of young men sit clad in striped sweaters. The teacher, an older gent with curiously immobile hair, stands in front of his desk. On the blackboard are the words "NHL Refereeing 101."
The teacher speaks.
"Good point there, Thompson. I prefer a gel for a firm hold but some of you might look into a mousse or a hair spray. Any other questions?"
For a moment there is silence as the students look at each other. Then an arm is slowly raised and a timid voice is heard.
"There's just one thing, sir," the youngster begins. "I think I understand hooking, holding and the other penalties. But I was a little confused over that formula you were talking about. Do you mind
going over it again?"
The teacher rolls his eyes. He fixes the young man with a cold stare, starts to say something, then changes his mind.
"OK, Hunter, for you I'll go over it again," he says. "In the first half of the game, you call everything by the book. A hook is a hook. Interference is interference. Got it?"
Twenty heads nod in unison.
The teacher continues: "That's unless a team is up by two goals. In that case the next call goes against the team that is leading, and the team that's trailing pretty much has to commit a capital offence to get a penalty. You can, of course, use your judgment on that one."
He pauses. Fewer heads nod this time.
"Now, that all changes if you've just called two or three penalties on the same team. When that happens, those guys get the license to kill and the next power play goes against the other guys."
Another hand is raised. A new voice is heard.
"But what if the team that just took the three straight penalties is also ahead by two goals?"
The teacher stares again. There is another uncomfortable pause.
"I wish you guys would pay attention," he finally says. "Three straight penalties and a two-goal lead is a wash so you go back to calling it by the book. For at least five minutes. Then the next call goes against two-goals. How much simpler can it be?"
The question is met by silence. The sound of a solitary cricket is heard in the background.
"Let's move on to the third period," the teacher says. "The third period is a little different but if you follow the formula, you won't have any problems. For example, if the score is tied you're home free. I mean, Ray Charles could referee because there are no penalties unless a corpse can be produced. Same with overtime. I love overtime."
The teacher then stares off dreamily into space. After a time he speaks again.
"Now, what you have to remember is that thing about a team with a two-goal lead in the first half of the game applies to a team with a one-goal lead in the third period. I've got this rhyme that helps me remember that one: 'Goal up in the third/Means it your turn.' OK, it doesn't rhyme but it's catchy, isn't it?"
The sound of nervous laughter drowns out the cricket.
"But here's the tricky part," the teacher continues. "If a team is up two goals in the third period, then the other guys automatically get a five-on-three for at least 45 seconds. Remember that. The only exception there is Detroit. We'll cover Detroit in another lecture. They'll take some time."
The teacher moves back behind his desk, looks up at the clock, then closes the books on his desk.
"Well, that's it for today. I want you to review Chapter 12 on league directives. We're going to get into some history there -- the obstruction controversy of the early '90s, the man in the crease debate from the late '90s. If we've got time we'll get into goalie interference."
"Oh, there's one other thing. Remember when I said it will take some time to explain Detroit? The same thing applies to Colorado. What can I tell you? Sometimes the rules change."
NHL Refereeing 101
Somebody wasn't paying attention during refereeing school. Detroit's Chris Chelios marvels at the gall of an official who dared to penalize the Wings during their playoff series against the Canucks.
The scene is a classroom where a group of young men sit clad in striped sweaters. The teacher, an older gent with curiously immobile hair, stands in front of his desk. On the blackboard are the words "NHL Refereeing 101."
The teacher speaks.
"Good point there, Thompson. I prefer a gel for a firm hold but some of you might look into a mousse or a hair spray. Any other questions?"
For a moment there is silence as the students look at each other. Then an arm is slowly raised and a timid voice is heard.
"There's just one thing, sir," the youngster begins. "I think I understand hooking, holding and the other penalties. But I was a little confused over that formula you were talking about. Do you mind
going over it again?"
The teacher rolls his eyes. He fixes the young man with a cold stare, starts to say something, then changes his mind.
"OK, Hunter, for you I'll go over it again," he says. "In the first half of the game, you call everything by the book. A hook is a hook. Interference is interference. Got it?"
Twenty heads nod in unison.
The teacher continues: "That's unless a team is up by two goals. In that case the next call goes against the team that is leading, and the team that's trailing pretty much has to commit a capital offence to get a penalty. You can, of course, use your judgment on that one."
He pauses. Fewer heads nod this time.
"Now, that all changes if you've just called two or three penalties on the same team. When that happens, those guys get the license to kill and the next power play goes against the other guys."
Another hand is raised. A new voice is heard.
"But what if the team that just took the three straight penalties is also ahead by two goals?"
The teacher stares again. There is another uncomfortable pause.
"I wish you guys would pay attention," he finally says. "Three straight penalties and a two-goal lead is a wash so you go back to calling it by the book. For at least five minutes. Then the next call goes against two-goals. How much simpler can it be?"
The question is met by silence. The sound of a solitary cricket is heard in the background.
"Let's move on to the third period," the teacher says. "The third period is a little different but if you follow the formula, you won't have any problems. For example, if the score is tied you're home free. I mean, Ray Charles could referee because there are no penalties unless a corpse can be produced. Same with overtime. I love overtime."
The teacher then stares off dreamily into space. After a time he speaks again.
"Now, what you have to remember is that thing about a team with a two-goal lead in the first half of the game applies to a team with a one-goal lead in the third period. I've got this rhyme that helps me remember that one: 'Goal up in the third/Means it your turn.' OK, it doesn't rhyme but it's catchy, isn't it?"
The sound of nervous laughter drowns out the cricket.
"But here's the tricky part," the teacher continues. "If a team is up two goals in the third period, then the other guys automatically get a five-on-three for at least 45 seconds. Remember that. The only exception there is Detroit. We'll cover Detroit in another lecture. They'll take some time."
The teacher moves back behind his desk, looks up at the clock, then closes the books on his desk.
"Well, that's it for today. I want you to review Chapter 12 on league directives. We're going to get into some history there -- the obstruction controversy of the early '90s, the man in the crease debate from the late '90s. If we've got time we'll get into goalie interference."
"Oh, there's one other thing. Remember when I said it will take some time to explain Detroit? The same thing applies to Colorado. What can I tell you? Sometimes the rules change."
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
Monday, March 24, 2003
http://espn.go.com/nhl/news/2003/0323/1528428.html
Sunday, March 23
Hull says he'd consider a return to St. Louis
ST. LOUIS -- If he becomes a free agent at the end of this season, Detroit's Brett Hull said he'd seriously consider returning to the Blues, according to a report from weekend anchor Dan Eassa at KPLR television station in St. Louis.
"I had a lot of great years there," said Hull, who played for the
Blues for 10 years, from 1988-98. "Obviously, that would be a place
that I would definitely listen to."
Hull can become an unrestricted free agent July 1, or, if he scores 35 goals, a clause will be triggered in his contract giving him another season at $4.5 million. To date, Hull has 33 goals.
Okay, what's wrong with *this* picture?
"If you score 35 goals we'll give you another 4.5 million. Never mind that the Rangers paid Bobby Holik $9 million a year to score <--checks -- uh, SIXTEEN goals with five games left to play in the season. No, no, sorry, Brettski, you're just not worth as much as Bobby Holik."
Okay, bear with me - if Brett scores 35 goals a year for the next five years, he will meet/surpass Wayne Gretzky's goals record.
Are you with me?
Brett Hull - 4.5 million a year. 712 (and counting) lifetime goals.
Bobby Holik? 9 million a year for the next four years. 240 (and counting) lifetime goals.
*snarl*
Sunday, March 09, 2003
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
He said it, not me...
After the tribute, the Avalanche presented the veteran goaltender with a regulation-sized silver stick, and the NHL passed along a piece of crystal, both to commemorate Roy's unprecedented 1,000th career game.
Smiling, Ray Bourque watched from a private box upstairs.
A few minutes earlier, Bourque had addressed the Avalanche, offering more of an affirmation of belief in his former team than a pep talk. As he stood in the middle of the room, Bourque could look over to the doorway, where his beleaguered friend sat at a stall. Bourque didn't need to say it. Roy knew it. Bourque still believes that the has-Patrick-lost-it debate is premature, and that Monday night's thousandth-game commemoration didn't deserve to be thought of as a tribute to a career in decline.
Bourque's longtime friendship with Roy deepened in their season and a half as Colorado teammates, and in the championship celebration that sent Bourque into retirement. One of the prerogatives of retirement is the right to go flying downhill without worrying about violating contract clauses, and Bourque and his family have traveled from the Boston area for a Colorado ski vacation.
"It worked out great," Bourque said in the box. "I hadn't seen the guys yet this season, and I wanted to come around and see things for myself. It was perfect timing for Patrick's 1,000th, and that was pretty remarkable.
"The thing is, not too many forwards or defensemen have played 1,000 games and now a goalie has. ... More important, look at the way he's played them, with the numbers he's put up in other areas. He's had a phenomenal career, and he just keeps adding on and adding on."
As Bourque helps coach his sons' hockey teams and is involved in several business ventures back in Boston, he hears the rumblings about Roy. And he also talks often with his former teammate.
After the tribute, the Avalanche presented the veteran goaltender with a regulation-sized silver stick, and the NHL passed along a piece of crystal, both to commemorate Roy's unprecedented 1,000th career game.
Smiling, Ray Bourque watched from a private box upstairs.
A few minutes earlier, Bourque had addressed the Avalanche, offering more of an affirmation of belief in his former team than a pep talk. As he stood in the middle of the room, Bourque could look over to the doorway, where his beleaguered friend sat at a stall. Bourque didn't need to say it. Roy knew it. Bourque still believes that the has-Patrick-lost-it debate is premature, and that Monday night's thousandth-game commemoration didn't deserve to be thought of as a tribute to a career in decline.
Bourque's longtime friendship with Roy deepened in their season and a half as Colorado teammates, and in the championship celebration that sent Bourque into retirement. One of the prerogatives of retirement is the right to go flying downhill without worrying about violating contract clauses, and Bourque and his family have traveled from the Boston area for a Colorado ski vacation.
"It worked out great," Bourque said in the box. "I hadn't seen the guys yet this season, and I wanted to come around and see things for myself. It was perfect timing for Patrick's 1,000th, and that was pretty remarkable.
"The thing is, not too many forwards or defensemen have played 1,000 games and now a goalie has. ... More important, look at the way he's played them, with the numbers he's put up in other areas. He's had a phenomenal career, and he just keeps adding on and adding on."
As Bourque helps coach his sons' hockey teams and is involved in several business ventures back in Boston, he hears the rumblings about Roy. And he also talks often with his former teammate.
Wednesday, December 11, 2002
Bob McManaman
The Arizona Republic
Dec. 11, 2002 12:00 AM
There's a reason the Coyotes haven't made a trade in an effort to shake their spiraling ways.
Nobody wants any of their players, according to Hall of Famer Wayne Gretzky, the team's part owner and managing partner.
"I don't mean this to be controversial, and I don't mean it to be a finger-pointing sort of thing," Gretzky said Tuesday in Scottsdale at the conclusion of the NHL owners' meetings. "But the fact of the matter is there aren't many guys on our club that teams want, and that's a fact."
Well, that's what happens when you hire all the puck kickers in the league, Wayne...
The Arizona Republic
Dec. 11, 2002 12:00 AM
There's a reason the Coyotes haven't made a trade in an effort to shake their spiraling ways.
Nobody wants any of their players, according to Hall of Famer Wayne Gretzky, the team's part owner and managing partner.
"I don't mean this to be controversial, and I don't mean it to be a finger-pointing sort of thing," Gretzky said Tuesday in Scottsdale at the conclusion of the NHL owners' meetings. "But the fact of the matter is there aren't many guys on our club that teams want, and that's a fact."
Well, that's what happens when you hire all the puck kickers in the league, Wayne...
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
Well, we did it. We had to do something to take our minds off the lack of enforcement for the "new" rules, the stupidity of the Drury trade, and the inexplicable scoring miasma the Wings are caught in...
Which NHL Star Are You?
Moral: never let me and Cee spend time on the phone together. I'm just sayin'.
Which NHL Star Are You?
Moral: never let me and Cee spend time on the phone together. I'm just sayin'.
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
Bergevin pays for ripping referees (scroll down a little)
Tuesday November 26, @11:13AM
Pittsburgh Penguins defenceman Marc Bergevin got his money's worth ($1,000 fine) when he blasted the officials' work in a recent Penguins- Islanders game, the San Francisco Chronicle reported on Tuesday.
"Write what you saw. It's a $%@# farce. This league's a joke. They change it for what, 10 games, 15 games? I honestly thought it was going to change. It was a rodeo out there. It was unbelievable. I'm not trying to take anything away from New York -- they played hard. They deserved to win. That's not what I'm trying to say. But it's a (expletive) joke. Did you guys see it? Did you watch the same game I did? Am I wrong?"
Tuesday November 26, @11:13AM
Pittsburgh Penguins defenceman Marc Bergevin got his money's worth ($1,000 fine) when he blasted the officials' work in a recent Penguins- Islanders game, the San Francisco Chronicle reported on Tuesday.
"Write what you saw. It's a $%@# farce. This league's a joke. They change it for what, 10 games, 15 games? I honestly thought it was going to change. It was a rodeo out there. It was unbelievable. I'm not trying to take anything away from New York -- they played hard. They deserved to win. That's not what I'm trying to say. But it's a (expletive) joke. Did you guys see it? Did you watch the same game I did? Am I wrong?"
Thursday, November 21, 2002
*not* the only insane goalie out there:
3nd Period NYI: J. Blake (K. Jonsson, Wiemer) 0:25
Penalties NYI: Webb (Charging), 12:33
TB: Keefe (Roughing), 17:15
TB: Keefe (Roughing), 17:15
TB: Keefe (Cross-checking), 17:15
TB: Konstantinov (Leaving the Crease), 17:15
NYI: Hamrlik (Roughing), 17:15
NYI: Snow (Leaving the Crease), 17:15
NYI: Snow (Match), 17:15
Hehheh. You should've seen the pounding.
3nd Period NYI: J. Blake (K. Jonsson, Wiemer) 0:25
Penalties NYI: Webb (Charging), 12:33
TB: Keefe (Roughing), 17:15
TB: Keefe (Roughing), 17:15
TB: Keefe (Cross-checking), 17:15
TB: Konstantinov (Leaving the Crease), 17:15
NYI: Hamrlik (Roughing), 17:15
NYI: Snow (Leaving the Crease), 17:15
NYI: Snow (Match), 17:15
Hehheh. You should've seen the pounding.
Monday, November 18, 2002
He said it, not me:
Hey, Adrian! Who does Rob Blake room with on the road now that Chris Drury is gone? How often do the guys switch roommates? Thanks!
-- Kaylee, Casper, Wyo.
At last check, Blake was rooming with Martin Skoula. That seems like an odd couple, but sometimes those are the best arrangements. How often do they change things up on a team? Not too much. Once people get comfortable with each other, they generally stay together for the full season. Adam Foote and Patrick Roy, for example, have been rooming together for years.
Hee...
Hey, Adrian! Who does Rob Blake room with on the road now that Chris Drury is gone? How often do the guys switch roommates? Thanks!
-- Kaylee, Casper, Wyo.
At last check, Blake was rooming with Martin Skoula. That seems like an odd couple, but sometimes those are the best arrangements. How often do they change things up on a team? Not too much. Once people get comfortable with each other, they generally stay together for the full season. Adam Foote and Patrick Roy, for example, have been rooming together for years.
Hee...
Friday, November 15, 2002
QMJHL: Suspensions handed out in Drakker, Mooseheads brawl
(posted Nov. 14, 7:20PM EST)
LONGUEUIL, Que. -- A brawl-filled game between the Baie-Comeau Drakkar and the Halifax Mooseheads produced its first suspensions from the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League on Thursday.
Baie-Comeau's Louis-Philippe Martin, who left the penalty box to join one of several multiplayer melees Wednesday night, was suspended for five games and coach Richard Martel was banned by the league for two games.
The Drakkar were also fined $1,000.
The suspensions and the fine were automatic because Martin left the bench to join the fighting in the Mooseheads' 9-2 win over the Drakkar, when 23 players were ejected and 485 penalty minutes were called.
A league spokesman said QMJHL disciplinarian Maurice Filion was reviewing videotape of the game and may issue further fines and suspensions later this week.
The low point of an already brawl-filled game came in the third period, when all 12 players on the ice were fighting.
After the game, Martel said his team “played with frustration, that's all.”
I wouldn't call it a "low point," myself... *g*
(posted Nov. 14, 7:20PM EST)
LONGUEUIL, Que. -- A brawl-filled game between the Baie-Comeau Drakkar and the Halifax Mooseheads produced its first suspensions from the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League on Thursday.
Baie-Comeau's Louis-Philippe Martin, who left the penalty box to join one of several multiplayer melees Wednesday night, was suspended for five games and coach Richard Martel was banned by the league for two games.
The Drakkar were also fined $1,000.
The suspensions and the fine were automatic because Martin left the bench to join the fighting in the Mooseheads' 9-2 win over the Drakkar, when 23 players were ejected and 485 penalty minutes were called.
A league spokesman said QMJHL disciplinarian Maurice Filion was reviewing videotape of the game and may issue further fines and suspensions later this week.
The low point of an already brawl-filled game came in the third period, when all 12 players on the ice were fighting.
After the game, Martel said his team “played with frustration, that's all.”
I wouldn't call it a "low point," myself... *g*
Thursday, November 14, 2002
Saturday, November 09, 2002
Friday, November 08, 2002
From Cee (it tickled her):
Yahoo! Sports: NHL - Bush calls Red Wings champions on and off the ice
http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/news/ap/20021108/ap-redwings-bush.html
By RON FOURNIER, AP White House Correspondent
November 8, 2002
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Calling them ``ruffians skating in the same direction,'' President Bush praised the Detroit Red Wings on Friday for their championship play and community service.
In an East Room ceremony filled with good-natured ribbing, Bush said athletes should follow the Red Wings' lead and be good examples for children who adore them.
``See, it's one thing to be the champion on the ice, it's another thing to be a champion living your lives,'' the president said.
Bush mentioned an NHL tradition in which members of the championship team each get a day to carry around the Stanley Cup. Team captain Steve Yzerman visited children in three hospitals with the trophy.
The team's owner, Mike Illitch, used the Stanley Cup to raise money for charity. Scotty Bowman, the Hall of Fame coach who retired after last year's championship, ``made a dream come true for a child with leukemia, who just simply wanted to touch the Stanley Cup,'' Bush said.
``You've proven yourself to be champs off the ice,'' the president said.
``You have a responsibility to set the right example and to use your position to help not only serve something greater than yourself, the team, but to serve a society and help heal the hurt and help people who need a little special care,'' Bush said.
The event was not all serious.
The president kidded Illitch, who also owns the struggling Detroit Tigers. Bush, former controlling owner of the Texas Rangers, said, ``This goes to prove it's easier to win in hockey than in baseball.''
The Red Wings beat the Carolina Hurricanes in the Stanley Cup finals for their third title in six years.
Bush said Bowman is so popular in Michigan that he had a job in mind for the former coach -- but it already is held by Dick Cheney.
``If I hadn't already announced yesterday the vice president was going to be my running mate. ... I was thinking about you,'' Bush said.
Standing behind him, laughing, were the Red Wings -- including center Kris Draper, who was sporting a black eye after getting hit by a stick in a 2-1 overtime victory over the Boston Bruins on Thursday night.
``He gets these ruffians skating in the same direction,'' Bush said of Bowman.
Bowman congratulated Bush for, hours earlier, securing a 15-0 vote at the United Nations Security Council for action against Iraq.
``We had to win 16 games'' in the playoffs to earn the Stanley Cup, Bowman said. ``We know how hard that is.''
Bush commented on the Wings' international flavor, with players from Russia, Canada, the United States and the Czech Republic. ``It looks like the United Nations,'' he said.
Following the ceremony, Darren McCarty said he and his teammates were impressed with Bush's low-key style.
``The thing that makes him so endearing is he seems so natural,'' McCarty said. ``It was neat how he left, just saying, `OK, got to go.' How cool is that?''
Yahoo! Sports: NHL - Bush calls Red Wings champions on and off the ice
http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/news/ap/20021108/ap-redwings-bush.html
By RON FOURNIER, AP White House Correspondent
November 8, 2002
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Calling them ``ruffians skating in the same direction,'' President Bush praised the Detroit Red Wings on Friday for their championship play and community service.
In an East Room ceremony filled with good-natured ribbing, Bush said athletes should follow the Red Wings' lead and be good examples for children who adore them.
``See, it's one thing to be the champion on the ice, it's another thing to be a champion living your lives,'' the president said.
Bush mentioned an NHL tradition in which members of the championship team each get a day to carry around the Stanley Cup. Team captain Steve Yzerman visited children in three hospitals with the trophy.
The team's owner, Mike Illitch, used the Stanley Cup to raise money for charity. Scotty Bowman, the Hall of Fame coach who retired after last year's championship, ``made a dream come true for a child with leukemia, who just simply wanted to touch the Stanley Cup,'' Bush said.
``You've proven yourself to be champs off the ice,'' the president said.
``You have a responsibility to set the right example and to use your position to help not only serve something greater than yourself, the team, but to serve a society and help heal the hurt and help people who need a little special care,'' Bush said.
The event was not all serious.
The president kidded Illitch, who also owns the struggling Detroit Tigers. Bush, former controlling owner of the Texas Rangers, said, ``This goes to prove it's easier to win in hockey than in baseball.''
The Red Wings beat the Carolina Hurricanes in the Stanley Cup finals for their third title in six years.
Bush said Bowman is so popular in Michigan that he had a job in mind for the former coach -- but it already is held by Dick Cheney.
``If I hadn't already announced yesterday the vice president was going to be my running mate. ... I was thinking about you,'' Bush said.
Standing behind him, laughing, were the Red Wings -- including center Kris Draper, who was sporting a black eye after getting hit by a stick in a 2-1 overtime victory over the Boston Bruins on Thursday night.
``He gets these ruffians skating in the same direction,'' Bush said of Bowman.
Bowman congratulated Bush for, hours earlier, securing a 15-0 vote at the United Nations Security Council for action against Iraq.
``We had to win 16 games'' in the playoffs to earn the Stanley Cup, Bowman said. ``We know how hard that is.''
Bush commented on the Wings' international flavor, with players from Russia, Canada, the United States and the Czech Republic. ``It looks like the United Nations,'' he said.
Following the ceremony, Darren McCarty said he and his teammates were impressed with Bush's low-key style.
``The thing that makes him so endearing is he seems so natural,'' McCarty said. ``It was neat how he left, just saying, `OK, got to go.' How cool is that?''
Wednesday, November 06, 2002
AWFUL AT HOME: The Colorado Avalanche aren't happy with their 4-2-4-2 start and even more angry with their 0-3-2 record at home.
“The key to success in this league is winning at hoe,” said Avs star centre Peter Forsberg. “We're just not playing good enough at home. We have to pick it up. It's a good thing we have four more games (in a row) at home.”
We? WE? WE?!?
How about "I", Mr. Fuckberg? Cause not only has Mighty Joe stepped up to the plate with at least one and usually two goals in the past, oh, FIVE games, so has the defence. Adam has THREE goals already this year! Rob Blake just scored his first! Hejduk's up to 9 pts.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself, and you might want to considering offering yourself to Calgary in return for Chris Drury.
“The key to success in this league is winning at hoe,” said Avs star centre Peter Forsberg. “We're just not playing good enough at home. We have to pick it up. It's a good thing we have four more games (in a row) at home.”
We? WE? WE?!?
How about "I", Mr. Fuckberg? Cause not only has Mighty Joe stepped up to the plate with at least one and usually two goals in the past, oh, FIVE games, so has the defence. Adam has THREE goals already this year! Rob Blake just scored his first! Hejduk's up to 9 pts.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself, and you might want to considering offering yourself to Calgary in return for Chris Drury.
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