Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Hey, Todd! 3rd round picks?

I got three of four last time.

I pick the Wild and Ottawa. Hehhehheh.

(Okay, the Wild is because I think that the prospect of a Disney franchise winning the Cup will spell apocalypse and doom, with locust plagues and volcanoes, earthquakes, tidal waves, and hockey in FLORIDA.

Oh... wait...)
The politics of rooting

cee made me do it... unfortunately Blogger was down ca. May 5th and I forgot to post it until now.

auk: come ON, Vancouver.

cee: yeah... we're watching the simpsons

auk: 4-1, she says despairingly. What, have they caught the Avs' 7-game-itis?

cee: FOUR! Minne scored two more??

auk: yeah, one of which was fuckin' ilLEGAL

cee: que?

auk: Marshall was in the crease AND the Wild was running over Cloutier

cee: ohferchrissakes

auk: I was trying to explain the hierarchy of hockey-rooting to poor Denise. *G*

cee: oh dear

auk: Sunbelt teams?

cee: well, you start with your fave, of course

auk: Never. Unless they are playing other Sunbelt teams that deserted the North for the Sunbelt.

cee: then you've got your consolation prizes

auk: And then only until they beat that Sunbelt team.

auk: Original Six over any other team.

cee: and then you've got the teams that are right out

cee: yup

auk: Canadian teams trump all others.

auk: Never root for Phoenix.

auk: Always root for MN, unless they are playing a Canadian team

auk: because they replaced the deserter team.

cee: Canadian teams trump all others. unless it's the Rangers or the Wings

auk: and it's okay to root for the Avs because they were the Nords. And the 'Canes cause they were the Whalers.

auk: And if they're an Original Six Canadian team, they are the default fave you gotta root for.

cee: LOL

auk: Unless they're the Leafs.

auk: Cause we hate the Leafs.

auk: Cause they suck.

cee: you should put this in the hahckey blahg

auk: Denise said I needed an algorithm for it *G*

cee: heh heh

auk: now 5-1

cee: oh god

auk: they have definitely inherited the Avs 7 games or bust disease

cee: Jovo! new plan!

cee: KILL THE FUCKING REF!

auk: YEAHHHH!

auk: Sasquatch, you get him on the right; Jovo, you go left.

cee: jeeheezus

auk: 6-1, she says, going for the razor

cee: <-chanting 'it's not over 'til seven

auk: sobsob

cee: we're going to be fine

cee: we ARE going to be FINE

auk: whew - 6-2

auk: yeah yeah pull it out...

cee: (out of context, um... heh)

cee: here, go look at the naked snowboarder

cee: LOOK AT THE NAKED SNOWBOARDER!!

auk: lookit the crazy snowboarder, dude

cee: lookit his ASS

cee: I'm telling you, if that ass doesn't cheer you up, nothin' will

auk: yah

cee: yeah baby, I'd tap that

auk: okay, so, back to the algorithm. All teams that DO play where there's naturally occurring ice start out on an equal footing with one another but above the Sunbelt. Original Six teams get a +6 modifier, and old WHA teams get a +3 modifier

cee: LOL!

auk: Canadian teams get a +10 modifier

auk: Sunbelt teams get a -10 modifierif they were stolen from a northern state or Canada

cee: that's awesome

auk: or a -5 if they play country music during intermissions.

cee: what about the Flames? Used to be Atlanta, are now Canadian

auk: teams with good music during the games (Sens, Devils, Hawks) get a +1

auk: teams that move north get a +10 modifier

cee: *g* and here I thought I'd stumped you.