WTF???

from sportsnet.ca:

Kasparaitis cleared for unrestricted free agency

Kasparaitis finished his season in Colorado after the Avalanche acquired him at the trade deadline.

(posted Jun. 27, 3:30PM EDT)
TORONTO -- Defenceman Darius Kasparaitis will become an unrestricted free agent Monday.

NHL free agent list

An arbitration hearing schedule for Friday to rule on his contractual status was cancelled because the NHL withdrew from the hearing, a league official confirmed Thursday.

The league had contended previously that the player's contract with the Pittsburgh Penguins should have been considered a two-year deal because it was arrived at during an arbitration process last summer.

Kasparaitis, agent Mark Gandler and the NHL Players' Association contended it was a one-year deal, and that the player should become an unrestricted free agent July 1. That now will be the case.

Kasparaitis finished his season in Colorado after the Avalanche acquired him at the trade deadline.

The New York Islanders, the team with whom Kasparaitis spent his first four NHL seasons, are said to be ready to make a significant offer to reacquire the rugged defenceman.


GO! Go, you foot disease! I can't fucking believe they traded Podein for THAT.

Hee. Hee hee hee. TLC sent us this link:

hockey humour

I'm still rolling at this one:

Descriptions of Team Positions

TEAM COACH

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God

TEAM CAPTAIN

Leaps short buildings with single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God

ASSISTANT CAPTAIN

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special request is granted

DEFENSEMAN

Barely clears a quonset hut
Loses tug-of-war with a switch engine
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God

FORWARD

Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by a locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals

ROOKIE

Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls

REFEREE

Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
Says "Look at the Choo-choo!"
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself

GOALIE

Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets with his teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance (who needs a Zamboni?)
He is God

---

Yeah! Is that or is that not a great description of Patrick Roy?

this just in from sportsnet.ca:

Roberts set for double shoulder surgery

The Leafs playoff warrior will pay for his heroics with two surgeries that will attempt to repair his damaged shoulders.

(posted Jun. 27, 2:10AM EDT)
TORONTO -- Toronto Maple Leafs forward Gary Roberts has been told by doctors that he requires two operations to repair damage to both of his shoulders.

Roberts, 36, could choose to play with the injuries, but that is extremely unlikely.

You go, guy.

And in the "so funny it can't possibly be true" category, it looks like Fleury could go whack some more Sharks:

Sharks pick up rights to Fleury

While there is no guarantee that Theo Fleury will ever wear a Sharks uniform, the team will be compensated if he signs elsewhere.

(posted Jun. 26, 6:18PM EDT)
SAN JOSE, Calif. -- For at least the rest of the week, the San Jose Sharks could have Theo Fleury and Teemu Selanne on the wings of one spectacular, if theoretical, line.

The Sharks have temporarily acquired the rights to Fleury, the New York Rangers' high-scoring left wing, San Jose general manager Dean Lombardi said Wednesday.

The Sharks got the rights to Fleury as the future considerations in a minor trade last Sunday. The Sharks gave their sixth-round pick to the Rangers for a sixth-round pick in the 2003 draft.

San Jose probably won't have Fleury's services for long, though. He will become an unrestricted free agent on Monday, and the Sharks don't intend to make a big offer to him - but if Fleury signs with another team, the Sharks would be entitled to a compensatory draft pick.


Heh. I don't think they really want him either. They'd have to get their mascot a bodyguard.

ha!

Report: Hasek retiring

The Red Wings won't confirm it, but the Buffalo News says the Dominator is hanging 'em up.

(posted Jun. 23, 10:31PM EDT)
DETROIT -- Detroit GM Ken Holland says he expects a decision from Dominik Hasek by Wednesday.

Holland says the star goalie hasn't made up his mind about whether he'll retire or return to the Stanley Cup champions next season.

The Buffalo News reported Sunday that Hasek is leaning toward retiring.

The 37-year-old led the Red Wings to the 10th Stanley Cup title in franchise history after being acquired from Buffalo last summer.

An NHL championship had been the only thing missing from Hasek's 12-year career that included six Vezina Trophies as the league's top goaltender and two Hart Trophies as the league MVP.

Hasek also won a gold medal with the Czech Republic in the 1998 Nagano Games.

2002 NHL Draft Round 1

1 CBJ (from FLA) RICK NASH 6/16/1984 BRAMPTON, ON CA 6' 3" 188 OHL LONDON LW L
2 ATL KARI LEHTONEN 11/16/1983 HELSINKI, FIN FI 6' 3" 189 FIN JOKERIT G L
3 FLA (from CBJ) JAY BOUWMEESTER 9/27/1983 EDMONTON, AB CA 6' 3" 209 WHL MEDICINE HAT D L
4 PHI (from T.B) JONI PITKÄNEN 9/19/1983 OULU, FIN FI 6' 3" 202 FIN KARPAT D L
5 PIT RYAN WHITNEY 2/19/1983 BOSTON, MA US 6' 3.5" 202 H-EAST BOSTON UNIVERSITY D L
6 NSH SCOTTIE UPSHALL 10/7/1983 FORT MCMURRAY, AB CA 5' 11.5" 176 WHL KAMLOOPS RW L
7 ANA JOFFREY LUPUL 9/23/1983 EDMONTON, AB CA 6' 1" 194 WHL MEDICINE HAT C/RW R
8 MIN PIERRE-MARC BOUCHARD 4/27/1984 SHERBROOKE, PQ CA 5' 9" 157 QMJHL CHICOUTIMI C L
9 FLA (from CGY) PETR TATICEK 9/22/1983 RAKOVNIK, CZE CZ 6' 2.5" 188 OHL SAULT-STE-MARIE C L
10 CG (from NYR) ERIC NYSTROM 2/14/1983 SYOSSET, NY US 6' 1" 195 CCHA U. OF MICHIGAN LW L
11 BUF KEITH BALLARD 11/26/1982 BAUDETTE, MN US 5' 10.5" 202 WCHA U. OF MINNESOTA D L
12 WSH STEVE EMINGER 10/31/1983 WOODBRIDGE, ON CA 6' 1.5" 197 OHL KITCHENER D R
13 WSH (from DAL) ALEXANDER SYEMIN 3/3/1984 KRASJONARSK, RU RU 6' 0" 174 RUS DIV. 1 CHELYABINSK LW L
14 MTL (from EDM) CHRISTOPHER HIGGINS 6/2/1983 SMITHTOWN, NY US 5' 11" 188 ECAC YALE UNIVERSITY C L
15 EDM (from MTL) JESSE NIINIMÄKI 8/19/1983 TAMPERE, FI FI 6' 2" 183 FIN ILVES C L
16 OTT JAKUB KLEPIS 6/5/1984 PRAGUE, CZ CZ 6' .5" 207 WHL PORTLAND C R
17 WSH (from VAN) BOYD GORDON 10/19/1983 UNITY, SK CA 6' 0" 191 WHL RED DEER RW R
18 L.A DENIS GREBESHKOV 10/11/1983 YAROSLAVL, RU RU 6' 0" 190 RUS YAROSLAVL D L
19 PHX JAKUB KOREIS 6/26/1984 PLZEN, CZ CZ 6' 2" 206 CZE PLZEN C L
20 BUF (from N.J) DANIEL PAILLE 4/15/1984 WELLAND, ON CA 6' 0" 200 OHL GUELPH LW L
21 CHI ANTON BABCHUK 5/6/1984 KIEV, UKR UKR 6' 4" 199 RUS ELEKTROSTAL D R
22 NYI SEAN BERGENHEIM 2/8/1984 HELSINKI, FI FI 5' 10.5" 194 FIN JOKERIT W L
23 PHX (from STL) BEN EAGER 1/22/1984 OTTAWA, ON CA 6' 1.5" 205 OHL OSHAWA LW L
24 TOR ALEXANDER STEEN 3/1/1984 WINNIPEG, MB CA 5' 11" 183 SWE FROLUNDA C L
25 CAR CAM WARD 2/29/1984 SHERWOOD PARK, AB CA 6' .5" 176 WHL RED DEER G L
26 DAL (from PHI) MARTIN VAGNER 3/16/1984 JAROMER, CZE CZ 6' 1" 214 QMJHL HULL D L
27 S.J MIKE MORRIS 7/14/1983 DORCHESTER, MA US 6' 0" 182 USHSE ST. SEBASTIAN'S RW R
28 COL JONAS JOHANSSON 3/18/1984 JÖNKÖPING SE 6' 1" 180 SWE HV 71 W R
29 BOS
30 BUF (from DET)
---

Nash is the first Canadian to go first since Vincent LeCavalier in 1998. I'm pretty surprised the Bluejackets swapped and flopped their way up to the first pick. Hope letting Tugnutt go was worth it.

19TH ANNUAL NHL AWARDS TELEVISION SPECIAL
The 19th Annual NHL Awards Television Special is scheduled for tonight, Thursday, June 20, at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. The League will present the winners of the seven annual awards - the Hart Trophy, the Norris Trophy, the Selke Trophy, the Calder Trophy, the Lady Byng Trophy, the Jack Adams Award, and the Vezina Trophy. The Awards show will be broadcast nationally in Canada on CBC and in the United States on ESPN2 from 8 to 9:30 p.m. ET. The Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy and the King Clancy Memorial Trophy will also be presented at the Awards Ceremony.

I always hope Adam will be there. He may be but I never see him.::sigh::

So I ran the whole Mrs.-Shanny-not-showing-up-at-Game-5 by the adult (?) male sample in my household and his take on it was that the only forgiveable reason for missing your man's Stanley Cup Winning Game is because you're in the process of donating a kidney to your sister who's in imminent danger of dying or because you yourself are dying.

Hmmm.

Comments are working. New comments. The CGI type. I have a weird glitch in IE where I have to select the text in the comment box to see it. But then it's "on." OmniWeb sees the text just fine as soon as it pops up. Go figure. At any rate, comments are now back, albeit in a different format. Sorry for the disruption in service.

Hey, Colleen, look left - it's only 4 days, 21 hours, and some minutes until the NHL draft. *g*

for cee
cause this is what I'm doing instead of working on fixing the comments...

comments are down for the nonce. *sigh* sorry...

The Sporting News needs new headline writers:

"Red Wings shock 'Canes in third OT"

Um, no. A "shock" would be if, say, you scored the tying goal late in the last period of regulation and then scored a GWG early on in the first OT. Winning after three regulation periods and then three OT periods does not constitute a "shock." A grind, maybe. Yeah. "Red Wings grind 'Canes in third OT."

an open letter to bob hartley, inspired by blatant rumour-mongering

Dear Mr. Hartley,

First off, let me congratulate you on a great season and a stellar playoff effort. The words "gritty determination" continue to characterise your team.

It is, in fact, for this reason that I have to ask you, with all due respect, what on *earth* you are thinking to even consider trading Dru - were you watching him in the playoffs at all? - for Bill Guerin. Bill Guerin's a great guy and a great forward, but let's not make the mistake of trading young for old and down for up. Part of the Avalanche offence is the swiftness of its skaters and Bill Guerin is no Joe Sakic.

The rumour about Bobby Holik?

Please.

Moving right along, if I may be so bold as to suggest a trade that may actually benefit the entire team...

By now you realise, no doubt, that the Disease was a mistake. Podein would have been much more help in the playoffs than Kasparaitis was. Besides, Patty doesn't like him. 'nuff said. Therefore I think it would behoove you to trade the Big Foot Disease for a defenceman worth his salt, namely, one Adam Deadmarsh, late of the Colorado Avalanche, currently exiled to the LA Kings.

Think about it.

And, oh, about Holik...if Kasparaitis didn't fit in, what on God's green earth makes you think Bobby Holik will? Spend your money on Elias and Sykora, or even Arnott. Don't waste it on puck-kicking Neanderthals!

With best regards,

AuK

from Cee:



"No, sir, we're not entirely sure *what* happened... We think maybe the Pod!Goalie went back to Uranus. We sent the bounty hunter after him, and he hasn't reported back yet. Got boarded hard on his way out, sir, might not make it. No, no, sir, we haven't managed to pinpoint the location of the KryRef. As soon as we do, an assassin *will* be dispatched. Also, it has been confirmed that not *only* did one Colleen Kane of New York City take off her jersey in the third period, claiming it was too hot, she also *fell asleep* during the third intermission. We're sending Shanny to spank her."

We have now amassed five separate (?) theories to explain last night.

1) the tried and true "Invasion of the Goalie Snatchers" wherein both teams had Pod!Goaltenders - Hasek's double was in place as early as Game 6;

2) realitycek's Hasek/Forsberg theory (a love so deep, so true, so hidden that even the announcers didn't notice it):

auk: poor adam
r: poor Patrique. poor Joe. poor all of 'em.
r: except Fuckberg.
auk: except him
auk: this is all HIS fault
r: uh-huh
r: I wonder how much he was paid off to come back and fuck the playoffs...?
auk: fuckberg!
r: he's probably doing Hasek...
auk: I bet you're right!
auk: only he would stoop so low!
r: well, Hasek's pretty big, so he wouldn't have to stoop *that* low...*snerk*
auk: low, she says obstinately. So low he's UNDER the ice
r: ew
auk: and his MOUTH is cold too
auk: as cold as his beady little eyes and Hasek's floppy little trout flop
r: ::shudder::

3) S's first theory (later discarded in favour of theory number 4): that the Avs had too many injuries to win against the Canes so Bob told Patty to throw the game because losing to the Wings at least meant losing with dignity;

4) S's second theory (and the one he's currently going with - keep in mind that he is an ardent supporter of the "Wherever You Will Go" as outlining the deep yet doomed love between defenceman and goaltender theory as well): the Boston Mafia threatened Bourque's family so Patty would throw the game to protect "zee best defenceman who evAIR leeved"'s family;

and 5) (related somewhat to #1): Cancer Man was reportedly seen in the audience behind the net, holding an umbrella; there were also reports of a one-armed man on the ice (posing as McCreary) as well as a Mighty Morphing Bounty Hunter (posing as Chelios)...