Bob McManaman
The Arizona Republic
Dec. 11, 2002 12:00 AM

There's a reason the Coyotes haven't made a trade in an effort to shake their spiraling ways.

Nobody wants any of their players, according to Hall of Famer Wayne Gretzky, the team's part owner and managing partner.

"I don't mean this to be controversial, and I don't mean it to be a finger-pointing sort of thing," Gretzky said Tuesday in Scottsdale at the conclusion of the NHL owners' meetings. "But the fact of the matter is there aren't many guys on our club that teams want, and that's a fact."

Well, that's what happens when you hire all the puck kickers in the league, Wayne...

Well, we did it. We had to do something to take our minds off the lack of enforcement for the "new" rules, the stupidity of the Drury trade, and the inexplicable scoring miasma the Wings are caught in...

Which NHL Star Are You?

Moral: never let me and Cee spend time on the phone together. I'm just sayin'.

Bergevin pays for ripping referees (scroll down a little)
Tuesday November 26, @11:13AM
Pittsburgh Penguins defenceman Marc Bergevin got his money's worth ($1,000 fine) when he blasted the officials' work in a recent Penguins- Islanders game, the San Francisco Chronicle reported on Tuesday.
"Write what you saw. It's a $%@# farce. This league's a joke. They change it for what, 10 games, 15 games? I honestly thought it was going to change. It was a rodeo out there. It was unbelievable. I'm not trying to take anything away from New York -- they played hard. They deserved to win. That's not what I'm trying to say. But it's a (expletive) joke. Did you guys see it? Did you watch the same game I did? Am I wrong?"

*not* the only insane goalie out there:

3nd Period NYI: J. Blake (K. Jonsson, Wiemer) 0:25
Penalties NYI: Webb (Charging), 12:33
TB: Keefe (Roughing), 17:15
TB: Keefe (Roughing), 17:15
TB: Keefe (Cross-checking), 17:15
TB: Konstantinov (Leaving the Crease), 17:15
NYI: Hamrlik (Roughing), 17:15
NYI: Snow (Leaving the Crease), 17:15
NYI: Snow (Match), 17:15

Hehheh. You should've seen the pounding.

He said it, not me:

Hey, Adrian! Who does Rob Blake room with on the road now that Chris Drury is gone? How often do the guys switch roommates? Thanks!
-- Kaylee, Casper, Wyo.

At last check, Blake was rooming with Martin Skoula. That seems like an odd couple, but sometimes those are the best arrangements. How often do they change things up on a team? Not too much. Once people get comfortable with each other, they generally stay together for the full season. Adam Foote and Patrick Roy, for example, have been rooming together for years.

Hee...

would this be "got him by the pucks"?

QMJHL: Suspensions handed out in Drakker, Mooseheads brawl
(posted Nov. 14, 7:20PM EST)
LONGUEUIL, Que. -- A brawl-filled game between the Baie-Comeau Drakkar and the Halifax Mooseheads produced its first suspensions from the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League on Thursday.

Baie-Comeau's Louis-Philippe Martin, who left the penalty box to join one of several multiplayer melees Wednesday night, was suspended for five games and coach Richard Martel was banned by the league for two games.

The Drakkar were also fined $1,000.

The suspensions and the fine were automatic because Martin left the bench to join the fighting in the Mooseheads' 9-2 win over the Drakkar, when 23 players were ejected and 485 penalty minutes were called.

A league spokesman said QMJHL disciplinarian Maurice Filion was reviewing videotape of the game and may issue further fines and suspensions later this week.

The low point of an already brawl-filled game came in the third period, when all 12 players on the ice were fighting.

After the game, Martel said his team “played with frustration, that's all.”

I wouldn't call it a "low point," myself... *g*

'nuff said...

auk: okay, country music at a hockey game?
auk: should NOT be allowed.
auk: /diktat
realitycek: no. it should not.
realitycek: ever.
auk: it's what happens when you put a hockey team in NASHVILLE. It's all I'm gonna say.
realitycek: talk about unnatural...

Adam stays after the game. Because I could.

Requires QuickTime.

From Cee (it tickled her):

Yahoo! Sports: NHL - Bush calls Red Wings champions on and off the ice

http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/news/ap/20021108/ap-redwings-bush.html

By RON FOURNIER, AP White House Correspondent
November 8, 2002

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Calling them ``ruffians skating in the same direction,'' President Bush praised the Detroit Red Wings on Friday for their championship play and community service.

In an East Room ceremony filled with good-natured ribbing, Bush said athletes should follow the Red Wings' lead and be good examples for children who adore them.

``See, it's one thing to be the champion on the ice, it's another thing to be a champion living your lives,'' the president said.

Bush mentioned an NHL tradition in which members of the championship team each get a day to carry around the Stanley Cup. Team captain Steve Yzerman visited children in three hospitals with the trophy.

The team's owner, Mike Illitch, used the Stanley Cup to raise money for charity. Scotty Bowman, the Hall of Fame coach who retired after last year's championship, ``made a dream come true for a child with leukemia, who just simply wanted to touch the Stanley Cup,'' Bush said.

``You've proven yourself to be champs off the ice,'' the president said.

``You have a responsibility to set the right example and to use your position to help not only serve something greater than yourself, the team, but to serve a society and help heal the hurt and help people who need a little special care,'' Bush said.

The event was not all serious.

The president kidded Illitch, who also owns the struggling Detroit Tigers. Bush, former controlling owner of the Texas Rangers, said, ``This goes to prove it's easier to win in hockey than in baseball.''

The Red Wings beat the Carolina Hurricanes in the Stanley Cup finals for their third title in six years.

Bush said Bowman is so popular in Michigan that he had a job in mind for the former coach -- but it already is held by Dick Cheney.

``If I hadn't already announced yesterday the vice president was going to be my running mate. ... I was thinking about you,'' Bush said.

Standing behind him, laughing, were the Red Wings -- including center Kris Draper, who was sporting a black eye after getting hit by a stick in a 2-1 overtime victory over the Boston Bruins on Thursday night.

``He gets these ruffians skating in the same direction,'' Bush said of Bowman.

Bowman congratulated Bush for, hours earlier, securing a 15-0 vote at the United Nations Security Council for action against Iraq.

``We had to win 16 games'' in the playoffs to earn the Stanley Cup, Bowman said. ``We know how hard that is.''

Bush commented on the Wings' international flavor, with players from Russia, Canada, the United States and the Czech Republic. ``It looks like the United Nations,'' he said.

Following the ceremony, Darren McCarty said he and his teammates were impressed with Bush's low-key style.

``The thing that makes him so endearing is he seems so natural,'' McCarty said. ``It was neat how he left, just saying, `OK, got to go.' How cool is that?''

AWFUL AT HOME: The Colorado Avalanche aren't happy with their 4-2-4-2 start and even more angry with their 0-3-2 record at home.

“The key to success in this league is winning at hoe,” said Avs star centre Peter Forsberg. “We're just not playing good enough at home. We have to pick it up. It's a good thing we have four more games (in a row) at home.”

We? WE? WE?!?

How about "I", Mr. Fuckberg? Cause not only has Mighty Joe stepped up to the plate with at least one and usually two goals in the past, oh, FIVE games, so has the defence. Adam has THREE goals already this year! Rob Blake just scored his first! Hejduk's up to 9 pts.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself, and you might want to considering offering yourself to Calgary in return for Chris Drury.

Hey! Shanny's one of the choices in Sportsnet.ca's Power Poll today!

So I was wandering around hockey pages, as I'm wont to do, and came across the following.



and sent it to realitycek, Rowan, and Cee, as is also my wont.

Realitycek came back with: "Go in peace, children, and high-stick no more. While anyone's looking. If you can help it. And remember -- away game at Mordor, on the 28th."

which still has us rolling. So Cee had the brilliant idea to propose a caption contest. Go for it!

I reprint this in its entirety because, well...because it needed to be said.

The NHL's going south
By MIKE ULMER -- Toronto Sun

Remember those plucky Carolina Hurricanes, the team that would induce the locals to forsake college hoops and NASCAR for sticks and pucks?

Thought you should know, they're averaging 14,700 fans a night.

The Hurricanes fell three wins short of the Stanley Cup last spring. Their attendance is 1,800 fans per evening lower than that of the Calgary Flames who haven't made the playoffs in seven years.

Let's put this another way. The last time the Flames played a post-season game, the Carolina Hurricanes were the Hartford Whalers.

This suggests two things.

1. Martin Gelinas, who came to Calgary from Carolina over the summer, has a secret charisma and a really, really, really big family.

2. It's time someone started reconsidering the game's wavering hold on sports fans south of the 49th.

The great lie about the National Hockey League is that it's a league in which American teams prop up Canadian clubs.

It's more like the other way around.

Yes, it is simplistic to tie a club's financial health to attendance numbers so highly fudged you have to brush your teeth after repeating them. The league quietly mandates at least 500 freebie tickets a night and that number can often swell to 2,000 or more against a poor opponent.

And yes, American teams operate differently than Canadian clubs.

The Hurricanes, for example, have a sweet lease deal in which they garner revenues from other events staged in the RBC Center, formerly the Entertainment and Sports Arena.

TESTIMONIAL

But attendance does say an awful lot about local interest and that, in turn, speaks volumes about long-term prospects. There is no finer testimonial than bums in the seats.

The U.S. may have 10 times the population, but Canada has a whole lot more hockey fans.

Take a look around the NHL.

They are wringing their hands in Ottawa, where sluggish ticket sales dropped the Sens' average attendance down to 14,847. That's an 11% decline from last season.

The Senators still average more patrons a night than the Chicago Blackhawks, New York Islanders, Pittsburgh Penguins, Carolina Hurricanes, Buffalo Sabres, Nashville Predators, Mighty Ducks of Anaheim and New Jersey Devils. Their visibility in their home city dwarfs that of the U.S. clubs and their 8,500 season tickets would be looked on by team executives in those U.S. burgs as a wonderful number.

Imagine Sens owner Rod Bryden in handcuffs. The equivalent happened in Buffalo to former president John Rigas.

Without an owner and with a colourless, predictable team, the Sabres are playing in front of as many empty seats as occupied ones.

Buffalo is averaging 11,518 over four dates. That's a 29% drop from last season.

When the Ducks and Florida Panthers entered the league, NHL types salivated at the thought of aligning themselves with the likes of Blockbuster Video and Disney. It turns out 30 guys in Edmonton can do a much better job of running a hockey team. Who knew?

In Pittsburgh, current home address of the greatest player in the game, the Penguins announced 1,649 empties for their home opener against the Toronto Maple Leafs. In Mario Lemieux's home town of Montreal, the Canadiens have averaged 20,048, or 5,000 more a night than in Pittsburgh.

WAKE UP

Don't worry about the Senators, a team situated in the Canadian city hit hardest by the high-tech meltdown.

Worry, if you must, about Chicago, where the Blackhawks had one announced crowd of 10,192, most of whom came in the same bus. On many nights, the actual gate is closer to 8,000.

And in Ottawa, unlike Chicago, if your car breaks down en route to the game you still get to live.

Hey, Canada, wake up. The Vancouver Canucks are a better draw than the Los Angeles Kings.

Four thousand more fans a night go to a hockey game in Edmonton than in Nashville. The Predators are down 8% and their announced gate of 10,123 against Phoenix was the lowest in the team's history -- by more than 2,000 fans.

The Oil, by comparison, are up 9% and boast nearly 15,000 season tickets.

Overall, league attendance is virtually identical to last season's pace. For that fact, the boys in New York can thank the patrons of the frozen North, where the game matters and, if you don't mind me saying, where it always will.


(Contributed by Kellie, hockey-fan-in-the-making!)

That's putting it nicely...

The referees took a break from the mandated league crackdown on obstruction, as there were several noncalls, including a hook of Forsberg on an OT breakaway.

(from the Denver Post Online)

I should add that Steve is NOT wearing his helmet and therefore the Sacred Book of Steve is a worthy companion to the Sacred Book of Ray (and Joe).

I'm so happy hockey season has started. Three Avs games in a row, too, and Adam playing a great game in all of them.

And I'm also happy because my son's become enamoured of NHL Hitz 2002 for GameCube and he's impressed that I'm able to answer the trivia questions between periods for more points. Hell...I'm impressed. I didn't know that I knew that Guy Lafleur came back to play for the Rangers, or that JR was only the 4th Blackhawk to score more than a hundred points. Hee!

great article...no picture!

Avs notch first victory By Adrian Dater
Denver Post Staff Writer
Friday, October 18, 2002 - LOS ANGELES - The beginning and the end were completely believable. Of the four Colorado Avalanche goals on Thursday night, Peter Forsberg scored two and Joe Sakic one. It was the second goal, the game-winner, that seemed like pulp fiction.

Adam Foote doesn't get many breakaways, nor does he get many goals. But he got both on what proved the difference maker in the Avalanche's first victory of the season, 4-1 over the Los Angeles Kings at the Staples Center.

Between the bookend Forsberg goals, Foote scored 6 minutes, 32 seconds into the third period to break a 1-1 tie, seconds after coming out of the penalty box. As Foote came out from serving a minor boarding penalty against Kings star Jason Allison, he slipped behind Kings defender Lubomir Visnovsky at the red line, barely staying onside to receive a lead pass from Avs forward Brad Larsen.

Foote broke ahead of Visnovsky and waited for Kings goalie Felix Potvin to commit before slipping a shot up high to the back of the net

"You always dream of one out of the box like that," Foote said. "I wasn't sure if I was going to be offsides or not. When I didn't hear any whistle, I just kept going."

mmmmmmmm.............

A goal! A *goal* off the penalty bench! The GAME winning goal! And an assist to Mighty Joe's first of the season! And he was laughing and happy and...and...*what* a goal! Gotta love it!

Hey. When the object of your affection is a defenceman, you have to celebrate his goals with champagne and caviar, 'cause he only gets five a season.

Go, Adam!

And, yeah, Fuckberg, how come you only score when you're threatened? Don't you think it's time to stop sulking and earn your money? Two goals tonight, keep it up, eh.

Preach it, Bob. Preach it.

Colorado coach Bob Hartley was fuming after the loss, which ended the season-opening, two-game homestand for the Avs with a record of 0-1-1.

"Our best players have to be our best players. It's going to be a dogfight all year long," said Hartley, obviously displeased with the performances of Joe Sakic and Peter Forsberg. "We're at a stage in the NHL right now that you can't say if our best players show up for half the regular-season games we're going to be in good shape. Those guys have to dominate every game."

Fuckberg's just punching his time card like he was in Games 6 and 7. I sure would have liked to have seen Billy Guerin on the Avs too. And trading Drury...not worth it, Bob, not worth it. If you were gonna trade a forward, why not trade Tanguay, who's also decided to apparently just punch his time card this year too?

NHL Center Ice

So they're running promos for Center Ice. I happen to already have it so on one of the channels this evening they seem to be running the entire series of..."Rooming with Roenick." I've gotten to see Anson beat JR at air hockey, JR cooking, JR getting cheesecake taken away from him, and watching four guys watch hockey 24-7.

I wanna room with Roenick!

I have to tell you, Todd, I have conceived a sudden and newfound liking for the Kings fans. Any group that has the chutzpah to boo Gary Bettman, and chant "no more nets!" is a-oKAY in MY book.

The Avs looked good tonight, off to their usual slow start, but Morris is fitting in better, and is more of a team player, than that foot disease ever was. Turco seems to be just as nasty a goalie as Belfour, but at least he's a *better* one, so on the whole I think the Stars did trade up.

We have decided to buy a new television. A 19" screen isn't big enough to see Adam on from across the room.

Our intrepid correspondent, Kellie, found this article predicting the 2003 Stanley Cup Winner. You read it here first.

ray, come back...

Ray Bourque, that is.

I don't really understand why the Avs are so willing to throw away power forwards - especially forwards who are good in the clutch, like Podein and Drury - for defencemen that have been, so far, marginal at best and losers at worst. Kasparaitis, the foot disease? Lasted a whole three months, did shit in the playoffs. For that they lost Shjon Podein?

And it seems to be happening again with Morris. Nothing against him, but to trade a forward like Drury for a 24 year old DEFENCEMAN seems...shortsighted at best. INSANELY stupid at worst.

*sigh*

gee, those were the days

from Rocky Mtn News Online:

As violent as some of the Avalanche-Detroit Red Wings games have been, the rivalry pales in comparison to what took place when the Nordiques and Canadiens got together.

"The games between Montreal and Quebec were more important than to go to church on Sunday," said Hartley, who grew up in a predominantly French-speaking town on the Quebec-Ontario provincial line. "I'm sure if they would have played during the day there wouldn't have been a kid in school."

The animosity between the teams reached its peak on April 20, 1984, during Game 6 of the Adams Division finals at the Montreal Forum. In what became known as "the Good Friday Massacre," one of the ugliest brawls in hockey history broke out at the end of the second period.

"It was awful, terrible," Goulet said. "Emotions were way out of control. It's something that never should have happened."

The Nordiques, needing a victory to extend the series to a seventh game, had a 1-0 lead when fighting on the ice escalated into a benches-clearing brawl. It got worse when Quebec enforcer Louie Sleigher sucker-punched Montreal's Jean Hamel and knocked him unconscious.

Players from both teams eventually went to the locker rooms, but the brawling continued when they returned to the ice for the third period. Sleigher had been ejected, but in that era he was allowed to come out for the warm-up. When Canadiens players saw Sleigher in uniform, they thought he still was eligible to play and went after him.

"There was too much intensity; you could say hate," said Ladoceur, who covered the game. "Guys were fighting in the press box, and fans were fighting in the stands. It was really, really ugly."

Order eventually was restored, several players were ejected, and the Canadiens pulled out a 5-3 victory to clinch the series.

rough 'n tumble!
From Denver Post Online:
The more significant issue is whether Colorado will be asking too much of Skoula and perhaps also Greg de Vries in the top two pairs. They will be mixed and matched with Colorado's proven elite defensemen, Blake and Foote. And the other concern must be that the rough-and-tumble Foote has been injury-prone in recent years, missing an average of 29 games during the past four seasons.

mmmmf! Well, not about the injuries. But, you know. The rest of it.

I really really need hockey season to get here...

hey. I'm on lunch.
Greatest athlete, period. Heh. Go, Insane Bowl Haircut Man.

it's NOT stupid to buy jerseys!

Holmstrom plays after his clothes call

Wing gets fan's sweater on loan, scores in loss

September 20, 2002

BY NICHOLAS J. COTSONIKA, FREE PRESS SPORTS WRITER
GRAND RAPIDS -- How much do the fans love the Red Wings in western Michigan? They'll give them the shirts off their backs.

Literally.

Take Teri Rodriguez. The 46-year-old Newaygo resident came to the Wings' intrasquad game at Van Andel Arena on Thursday night wearing an autographed, replica Tomas Holmstrom sweater. She never dreamed she would lend it to him, and that he would wear it, and that he would score in it as his White team lost to the Red team in a shootout, 3-2. But that's what happened.

aw, and I missed it!

3rd Period Penalty Summary

1:19, Colorado, Smith: 5 Minutes for Fighting
1:19, Dallas, Gosselin: 5 Minutes for Fighting
9:37, Colorado, Saviels: 2 Minutes for Holding
10:00, Colorado, Foote: 2 Minutes for Roughing
10:00, Colorado, Blake: 2 Minutes for Cross Checking
12:47, Dallas, Ott: 2 Minutes for Charging
14:52, Dallas, Henenius: 2 Minutes for High Sticking
16:57, Dallas, Ott: 5 Minutes for Fighting
16:57, Dallas, McCormick: 5 Minutes for Fighting

Shanny calls for more Original Six matchups.

The Detroit Red Wings only face Original Six teams outside their division seven times this season, while matching up with Nashville and Columbus five times each.

Hey! The Jackets have Cassels now! Be afraid! Be afraid! Why...why are you laughing?

Roy article *plus* Adam scoffing in it! what more can we ask for?

what more can we ask for?

from ESPN:

Yes, it's possible that if Roy has a substandard season and playoff run and his skills obviously are eroding, we could look back at those two games against the Red Wings as the harbinger. But neither Roy nor anyone around him seem to be considering that possibility.

"We haven't even thought about that sort of criticism," said Joe Sakic. "Patrick was the best player, in our minds, in the league last year. He got us where we were. This year's a new year, and we want to get back to the same spot and give it another shot."

Colorado winger Chris Drury has been in the sporting spotlight since he was the winning pitcher in the 1989 Little League World Series.

"He's mentally the strongest athlete I've ever been around," Drury said of Roy. "I don't think there will be any scars, effects or nightmares. Obviously, he was not too happy with it that night or a few days after, but he's so strong mentally, he's fine in my book."

Defenseman Adam Foote scoffed.

"A pretty small percentage of the goalies in the league have done HALF of what he's done," Foote said. "I know him well, and having him behind us still is a huge bonus for this team."

Colorado coach Bob Hartley said, "We knew who we were facing, and we also know where we did some things wrong. Sometimes you have to learn in either victories or defeat, whether we would have been beat in OT or by a touchdown, at this time there is no effect."

And his goaltender specifically?

"He's been there before," Hartley said, alluding to the Red Wings' 11-1 rout of the Canadiens in December 1995, with Roy in the net. "And look how he bounced back. The goalie? That's the least of my worries."

For his part, Roy appears to be as hungry as ever, given his early camp work and his conditioning.

"This is the 19th time I have participated in a training camp," he said. "It's never boring. There are two ways to look at it. You can be here and say, 'Aw, I don't care' or, 'What can I do to improve my game?' That's the way I like to look at it."



Not gonna comment about 'behind' and 'huge.' I'm trying to maintain some decorum here...but I always knew goalies had bigger sticks...

from sportsnet.ca:

If the NHL follows through with its stricter rules enforcement -- and Bettman says he will demote on-ice officials who refuse to make the calls -- it will be far more difficult for offence-strapped teams such as the Minnesota Wild to compete.

And pigs might fly out my...

I mean, come on, this *is* the same commissioner who looked stupidly at the television last year during the playoffs and didn't blink an eye at the calls that were so bad even Sports Illustrated noticed.

hee

I said: YAY!!!

---------------- Begin Forwarded Message ----------------
Subject: FORWARD ALEX TANGUAY AGREES TO TERMS WITH THE COLORADO AVALANCHE

and Cee replied:

They don't write headlines for what's going on with MY
team: WINGS SIGN NOBODY EXCEPT INEXPERIENCED COACH; CAPTAIN WILL BE OUT TIL JANUARY; PRAYER MEETINGS WILL BE HELD AT JOE WEDNESDAYS AT SIX.

Phagh.

Okay, so Colorado came to its senses and re-signed Alex Tanguay. *whew*

In more amusing news, Stars owner Hicks considers selling team

September 9, 2002 Print it

ARLINGTON, Texas -- Dallas Stars owner Tom Hicks has hired a company to explore and manage a possible sale of the NHL team and his half-share of the company that manages and operates the American Airlines Center.

Any sale wouldn't affect his ownership of the Texas Rangers, his major-league baseball team.

"As much as I love hockey and the Stars, I have met and exceeded the goals I set six years ago," Hicks said in a statement Monday. "After much thought and private discussion with my family, I have decided this is an appropriate time to become a one-team owner rather than a two-team owner."

Please, please, let a Canadian buyer step forward and move the Stars north! That would be so funny. Improbable, but funny.

from sportsnet.ca:


Shooters are happy Dominik Hasek has hung up his goaltending pads, although fans will miss marvelling over his sprawling saves.

That's, uh, one way to put it...I thought we were pointing and mocking, but it could just be me.

On a more dubious note, Chicago's Bob Probert will pass Marty McSorley (3,381) and be third in career penalty minutes when he spends his 82nd minute in a penalty box this season. Probie should be there by Christmas.

Go, Probie?

realitycek sent this one in - you can take it from here, r... *g*

You know, I saw this the other night and thought I was imagining things. But it looks like the Wings signed Stacy Roest (from the Wild) to a 1 year contract.

whoa, missed this one
[scarfed from a press release on the Brandon Wheat Kings web site]

CANADA CAPTURES EIGHT NATIONS CUP

Sunday, August 18, 2002 PIESTANY, Slovakia - Chalk up another title for Canadian hockey.

Canada's under-18 team has won the Eight Nations hockey tourney for the sixth straight time.

Mike Richards of the Kitchener Rangers had a hat trick as Canada hammered the Czech Republic 5-1 in today's final.

Oshawa Generals forward Nathan Horton and Corey Perry of the London Knights also scored for Canada while Medicine Hat's Kevin Nastiuk made 31 saves for the victory.

Canada was perfect in the tournament, going 3-0 in the round robin before beating Russia then the Czech Republic in the playoffs.

Canada also swept the tournament's player awards -- Nastiuk was named top goalie, Shawn Belle of the Tri-City Americans was picked as best defenceman and Winnipeg native Nigel Dawes of the Kootenay Ice was chosen top forward. Dawes and Belle were among ten Western Hockey Leaguers on this year's club.

Separated at birth?

Ken Belanger, LA Kings	Tyler Mane as Sabretooth in the X-Men movie

Welcome to Todd LaClair, the newest contributor to the hockey blog. The Kings, Todd? I'm not sure I want to know...

'cause even Bettman has a brain sometimes...

from sportsnet.ca:

Report: NHL rejects Holik, Kasparaitis contracts

The league office is reportedly objecting to the signing-bonus covenants in the contracts.
(posted Aug. 19, 11:32PM EDT)
NEW YORK -- The NHL has rejected the contracts Bobby Holik and Darius Kasparaitis signed with the New York Rangers and the dispute is to go to an arbitrator, according to a report from the New York Post.

The newspaper said the move to reject the deals was made Aug. 7 and the NHL Players Association responded with a grievance 48 hours later.

Holik signed a five-year, $45-million deal that includes a $10.7-million signing bonus with about $2.7 million given out the first season and $2 million each following season for the duration of the contract.

Kasparaitis signed a six-year, $25.5-million deal with $6-million in signing bonuses with $1 million given out each season for the duration of the contract.

Holik, 31, scored 25 goals, added 29 assists and had 97 penalty minutes with New Jersey last season. The six-foot-four, 230-pound centre is a two-time NHL all-star and was a key member of New Jersey's 1995 and 2000 Stanley Cup championship teams.

Kasparaitis, 29, qualified for unrestricted free agency because he played 10 years in the NHL and earned less than the league average salary of $1.64 million last season. Kasparaitis made $1.15 million with Pittsburgh and Colorado last season while recording two goals, 14 assists and 142 penalty minutes in 80 games.

They of course neglect to mention that he screwed over Colorado and they didn't bother to fight to keep him 'cause he sucks (and I don't mean that in the romantic, noble defenceman/goaltender way).

Auuuggghhh! Not the *Hawks!* (from, as always, sportsnet.ca)

Fleury signs with Hawks

Reports earlier in the week had the feisty winger in talks with Toronto, Florida and Phoenix.
(posted Aug. 15, 11:31AM EDT)
CHICAGO -- The Chicago Blackhawks signed veteran winger Theo Fleury to a two-year, $8-million contract Thursday, beating out the Phoenix Coyotes for the unrestricted free agent's services.


(PS - Clearly I got my Mac up and running again after changing out to a newer, bigger hard drive. Yay!)

Oh puh-LEASE (from sportsnet.ca):

Theoren Fleury is one of the last big name free agents left unsigned this offseason

(posted Aug. 12, 8:00AM EDT)
PHOENIX -- Wayne Gretzky and the Phoenix Coyotes are interested in signing free agent Theo Fleury, the Arizona Republic reported.

Gretzky, the team's managing partner, met with Fleury and his agent over the weekend and discussed what it would take to get the winger into a Coyotes uniform.

“That's our intention and we'd love to see it happen,” Gretzky told the paper.

Guess the Corndogs aren't as afraid of him as the Sharks are...

Todd LaClair does it again:

Does anyone else think they bear a strong resemblance to Joey and Chandler? Okay, except for the glasses, I mean.

AuK and Cee are on vacation - I'll be gone all next week and into the week after, she'll be gone all next week... I hope when she gets back she has a computer again. The bad news du jour is Martin Straka's cracked back. Just what the Pens didn't need, eh.

Yee ha! from sportsnet.ca:

(posted Jul. 23, 11:19PM EDT)
DENVER -- The Colorado Avalanche re-signed Dan Hinote, Brad Larsen and Bryan Muir on Tuesday.

Dan Hinote had seven goals and eight assists in 77 regular and post-season games last season.

The team also signed goalie Peter Budaj, forward Charlie Stephens, left-winger Sergei Kliazmine and defenceman Agris Saviels, who were chosen by the Avalanche in the 2000 and 2001 drafts. Defenceman D.J. Smith of the St. John's Maple Leafs also agreed to terms.

Larsen had scoring three goals and eight assists in the regular season and playoffs last season, his first full campaign with the Avalanche.

Our intrepid correspondent TLC does it again. Heh.

It's very rarely that two of my passions come together, but here's Pat Quinn in TSN today with a libertarian rationale for the financial concerns hockey clubs are having:

Unlike past campaigns, when the Leafs were able to attract such homebrew free agents as Shayne Corson and Gary Roberts, Quinn said this year's crop did not have such ties.

“American kids don't want to come here,” said Quinn. “They don't want the taxes . . . There weren't a whole lot of Canadians available this year.”

And there are no such (Canadian) ties for “Iron Curtain guys,” he added.

Both Holik and Kasparaitis have homes in the New York area, Quinn noted.

And Texas' tax advantages may have helped Guerin, an American, make up his mind, Quinn suggested.


Of course, in the US taxpayers pay lots of money for arenas and the like and then *still* have to pay higher ticket prices than most Canadian clubs charge. I guess the difference is that it's more of an end-user problem though.

Brian Burke tells it like it is: (from, of course, sportsnet.ca):

The New York Rangers have led the charge, dishing out $78.5 million US for the likes of centre Bobby Holik (five years, $45 million), defenceman Darius Kasparaitis (six years, $25.5) and goaltender Mike Richter (two years, $8 million.)

The Holik deal left Burke shaking his head.

“Now we're paying elite money to a second-line centre,” he said. “What the hell is going on?”

Among the other big names, goaltender Curtis Joseph went to Detroit for $24 million US over three years while the Toronto Maple Leafs replaced him with Ed Belfour, who will earn $13.5 million US over the next two years.

Even the Calgary Flames, another team on the NHL have-not list, managed to sign forward Martin Gelinas for $4.85 million over three years.

Burke took some consoltation that outside of Dallas spending $45 million over five years for Bill Geurin, plus adding Scott Young and Philippe Boucher, most of the signings have been in the Eastern Conference.

“Other than my annoyance with the way this business is being run, if we're going to have asinine, insane, inflationary signings, it suits me fine that most of them have been in the East so far,” he said.

Heh. Suits me just fine too.

Colleen called to alert me to the horrendous news... Petr's been traded to Anaheim. ANAHEIM. And this after they already ditched Jason Arnott after promising they wouldn't. Hell, no, Petr didn't get over that - he's young and idealistic. And now... now the assholes in NJ have split up the remainder of the A-line. *sigh*

I bet they'll find that Pati won't get over losing his A-line buddies either. C'mon, Colorado - pick BOTH of 'em up! All of them! Arnott, Elias, and Sykora, in Denver.

Hey. I can dream.

From our intrepid correspondent, Denise (who's been taking goon lessons):

Top Ten New NHL Slogans

10. "It's Like An Episode of 'Cops' On Ice!"

9. "See For Yourself What Canadian Blood Looks Like"

8. "The 'H' Is For 'Hematoma'"

7. "It's Like Watching Really, Really Primitive Dentistry"

6. "A Sport That Combines Your Two Favorite Things -- Ice Skating and Head Trauma"

5. "You Can't Spell 'Unhealthy' Without 'NHL'"

4. "Share The Excitement, Or We'll Beat Your Brains In With a Piece of Wood"

3. "We Injure More People By 9pm Than Pro Football Does All Year"

2. "Don't Worry, Kids -- They're Just Saying 'Puck'"

1. "He Shoots, He Scars"

More from my most-favourite-website right now, sportsnet.ca:

Kasparaitis latest to cash in off Rangers

The Rangers continued to throw around more money in the free agent market on Tuesday, keeping Darius Kasparaitis away from the rival New York Islanders who were also interested in the 29-year-old defenceman.

(posted Jul. 2, 5:04PM EDT)
As originally reported by Sportsnet, the New York Rangers have agreed to a six-year, $27-million deal with unrestricted free-agent defenceman Darius Kasparaitis.

A day after giving centre Bobby Holik $45 million over five years, Rangers general manager Glen Sather handed Kasparaitis $27 million over six years -- an average of $4.5 million a season.

He is *so* not worth that much! Adam notched a lot more than three points in the playoffs and makes around 4 million a year.

All I have to say is *what* are the Rangers thinking? Holik and Kaspariaitis are sure as fuck not worth that kind of money.

The Avalanche, who acquired him at the trade deadline last March, were thought to have been interested in keeping Kasparaitis but that wasn't the case.

“Colorado didn't really talk to me,” Kasparaitis said. “They made one call and that was it.”

And that call was probably from Patty saying "Don't let the door hit you in the ass..."

The rotten part is the Avs lost Podein over it all. Grrr.

and MORE YAY! The Avs are safe from Neanderthal Man:

Holik lands big contract with Rangers

The New York Rangers tonight signed unrestricted free agent centre Bobby Holik to a five-year, $45-million deal, Sportsnet has learned.

more from sportsnet.ca (and fucking YEAH! No Belfour for the Wings!):

Curtis Joseph is expected to announce his intentions at the Toronto Airport Marriott at 11:30 a.m. ET on Tuesday.

Curtis Joseph's days as a Toronto Maple Leaf are over and sources have told Sportsnet that the veteran goaltender is expected to sign with the Detroit Red Wings on Tuesday.

WTF???

from sportsnet.ca:

Kasparaitis cleared for unrestricted free agency

Kasparaitis finished his season in Colorado after the Avalanche acquired him at the trade deadline.

(posted Jun. 27, 3:30PM EDT)
TORONTO -- Defenceman Darius Kasparaitis will become an unrestricted free agent Monday.

NHL free agent list

An arbitration hearing schedule for Friday to rule on his contractual status was cancelled because the NHL withdrew from the hearing, a league official confirmed Thursday.

The league had contended previously that the player's contract with the Pittsburgh Penguins should have been considered a two-year deal because it was arrived at during an arbitration process last summer.

Kasparaitis, agent Mark Gandler and the NHL Players' Association contended it was a one-year deal, and that the player should become an unrestricted free agent July 1. That now will be the case.

Kasparaitis finished his season in Colorado after the Avalanche acquired him at the trade deadline.

The New York Islanders, the team with whom Kasparaitis spent his first four NHL seasons, are said to be ready to make a significant offer to reacquire the rugged defenceman.


GO! Go, you foot disease! I can't fucking believe they traded Podein for THAT.

Hee. Hee hee hee. TLC sent us this link:

hockey humour

I'm still rolling at this one:

Descriptions of Team Positions

TEAM COACH

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God

TEAM CAPTAIN

Leaps short buildings with single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God

ASSISTANT CAPTAIN

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special request is granted

DEFENSEMAN

Barely clears a quonset hut
Loses tug-of-war with a switch engine
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God

FORWARD

Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by a locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals

ROOKIE

Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls

REFEREE

Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
Says "Look at the Choo-choo!"
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself

GOALIE

Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets with his teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance (who needs a Zamboni?)
He is God

---

Yeah! Is that or is that not a great description of Patrick Roy?

this just in from sportsnet.ca:

Roberts set for double shoulder surgery

The Leafs playoff warrior will pay for his heroics with two surgeries that will attempt to repair his damaged shoulders.

(posted Jun. 27, 2:10AM EDT)
TORONTO -- Toronto Maple Leafs forward Gary Roberts has been told by doctors that he requires two operations to repair damage to both of his shoulders.

Roberts, 36, could choose to play with the injuries, but that is extremely unlikely.

You go, guy.

And in the "so funny it can't possibly be true" category, it looks like Fleury could go whack some more Sharks:

Sharks pick up rights to Fleury

While there is no guarantee that Theo Fleury will ever wear a Sharks uniform, the team will be compensated if he signs elsewhere.

(posted Jun. 26, 6:18PM EDT)
SAN JOSE, Calif. -- For at least the rest of the week, the San Jose Sharks could have Theo Fleury and Teemu Selanne on the wings of one spectacular, if theoretical, line.

The Sharks have temporarily acquired the rights to Fleury, the New York Rangers' high-scoring left wing, San Jose general manager Dean Lombardi said Wednesday.

The Sharks got the rights to Fleury as the future considerations in a minor trade last Sunday. The Sharks gave their sixth-round pick to the Rangers for a sixth-round pick in the 2003 draft.

San Jose probably won't have Fleury's services for long, though. He will become an unrestricted free agent on Monday, and the Sharks don't intend to make a big offer to him - but if Fleury signs with another team, the Sharks would be entitled to a compensatory draft pick.


Heh. I don't think they really want him either. They'd have to get their mascot a bodyguard.

ha!

Report: Hasek retiring

The Red Wings won't confirm it, but the Buffalo News says the Dominator is hanging 'em up.

(posted Jun. 23, 10:31PM EDT)
DETROIT -- Detroit GM Ken Holland says he expects a decision from Dominik Hasek by Wednesday.

Holland says the star goalie hasn't made up his mind about whether he'll retire or return to the Stanley Cup champions next season.

The Buffalo News reported Sunday that Hasek is leaning toward retiring.

The 37-year-old led the Red Wings to the 10th Stanley Cup title in franchise history after being acquired from Buffalo last summer.

An NHL championship had been the only thing missing from Hasek's 12-year career that included six Vezina Trophies as the league's top goaltender and two Hart Trophies as the league MVP.

Hasek also won a gold medal with the Czech Republic in the 1998 Nagano Games.

2002 NHL Draft Round 1

1 CBJ (from FLA) RICK NASH 6/16/1984 BRAMPTON, ON CA 6' 3" 188 OHL LONDON LW L
2 ATL KARI LEHTONEN 11/16/1983 HELSINKI, FIN FI 6' 3" 189 FIN JOKERIT G L
3 FLA (from CBJ) JAY BOUWMEESTER 9/27/1983 EDMONTON, AB CA 6' 3" 209 WHL MEDICINE HAT D L
4 PHI (from T.B) JONI PITKÄNEN 9/19/1983 OULU, FIN FI 6' 3" 202 FIN KARPAT D L
5 PIT RYAN WHITNEY 2/19/1983 BOSTON, MA US 6' 3.5" 202 H-EAST BOSTON UNIVERSITY D L
6 NSH SCOTTIE UPSHALL 10/7/1983 FORT MCMURRAY, AB CA 5' 11.5" 176 WHL KAMLOOPS RW L
7 ANA JOFFREY LUPUL 9/23/1983 EDMONTON, AB CA 6' 1" 194 WHL MEDICINE HAT C/RW R
8 MIN PIERRE-MARC BOUCHARD 4/27/1984 SHERBROOKE, PQ CA 5' 9" 157 QMJHL CHICOUTIMI C L
9 FLA (from CGY) PETR TATICEK 9/22/1983 RAKOVNIK, CZE CZ 6' 2.5" 188 OHL SAULT-STE-MARIE C L
10 CG (from NYR) ERIC NYSTROM 2/14/1983 SYOSSET, NY US 6' 1" 195 CCHA U. OF MICHIGAN LW L
11 BUF KEITH BALLARD 11/26/1982 BAUDETTE, MN US 5' 10.5" 202 WCHA U. OF MINNESOTA D L
12 WSH STEVE EMINGER 10/31/1983 WOODBRIDGE, ON CA 6' 1.5" 197 OHL KITCHENER D R
13 WSH (from DAL) ALEXANDER SYEMIN 3/3/1984 KRASJONARSK, RU RU 6' 0" 174 RUS DIV. 1 CHELYABINSK LW L
14 MTL (from EDM) CHRISTOPHER HIGGINS 6/2/1983 SMITHTOWN, NY US 5' 11" 188 ECAC YALE UNIVERSITY C L
15 EDM (from MTL) JESSE NIINIMÄKI 8/19/1983 TAMPERE, FI FI 6' 2" 183 FIN ILVES C L
16 OTT JAKUB KLEPIS 6/5/1984 PRAGUE, CZ CZ 6' .5" 207 WHL PORTLAND C R
17 WSH (from VAN) BOYD GORDON 10/19/1983 UNITY, SK CA 6' 0" 191 WHL RED DEER RW R
18 L.A DENIS GREBESHKOV 10/11/1983 YAROSLAVL, RU RU 6' 0" 190 RUS YAROSLAVL D L
19 PHX JAKUB KOREIS 6/26/1984 PLZEN, CZ CZ 6' 2" 206 CZE PLZEN C L
20 BUF (from N.J) DANIEL PAILLE 4/15/1984 WELLAND, ON CA 6' 0" 200 OHL GUELPH LW L
21 CHI ANTON BABCHUK 5/6/1984 KIEV, UKR UKR 6' 4" 199 RUS ELEKTROSTAL D R
22 NYI SEAN BERGENHEIM 2/8/1984 HELSINKI, FI FI 5' 10.5" 194 FIN JOKERIT W L
23 PHX (from STL) BEN EAGER 1/22/1984 OTTAWA, ON CA 6' 1.5" 205 OHL OSHAWA LW L
24 TOR ALEXANDER STEEN 3/1/1984 WINNIPEG, MB CA 5' 11" 183 SWE FROLUNDA C L
25 CAR CAM WARD 2/29/1984 SHERWOOD PARK, AB CA 6' .5" 176 WHL RED DEER G L
26 DAL (from PHI) MARTIN VAGNER 3/16/1984 JAROMER, CZE CZ 6' 1" 214 QMJHL HULL D L
27 S.J MIKE MORRIS 7/14/1983 DORCHESTER, MA US 6' 0" 182 USHSE ST. SEBASTIAN'S RW R
28 COL JONAS JOHANSSON 3/18/1984 JÖNKÖPING SE 6' 1" 180 SWE HV 71 W R
29 BOS
30 BUF (from DET)
---

Nash is the first Canadian to go first since Vincent LeCavalier in 1998. I'm pretty surprised the Bluejackets swapped and flopped their way up to the first pick. Hope letting Tugnutt go was worth it.

19TH ANNUAL NHL AWARDS TELEVISION SPECIAL
The 19th Annual NHL Awards Television Special is scheduled for tonight, Thursday, June 20, at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. The League will present the winners of the seven annual awards - the Hart Trophy, the Norris Trophy, the Selke Trophy, the Calder Trophy, the Lady Byng Trophy, the Jack Adams Award, and the Vezina Trophy. The Awards show will be broadcast nationally in Canada on CBC and in the United States on ESPN2 from 8 to 9:30 p.m. ET. The Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy and the King Clancy Memorial Trophy will also be presented at the Awards Ceremony.

I always hope Adam will be there. He may be but I never see him.::sigh::

So I ran the whole Mrs.-Shanny-not-showing-up-at-Game-5 by the adult (?) male sample in my household and his take on it was that the only forgiveable reason for missing your man's Stanley Cup Winning Game is because you're in the process of donating a kidney to your sister who's in imminent danger of dying or because you yourself are dying.

Hmmm.

Comments are working. New comments. The CGI type. I have a weird glitch in IE where I have to select the text in the comment box to see it. But then it's "on." OmniWeb sees the text just fine as soon as it pops up. Go figure. At any rate, comments are now back, albeit in a different format. Sorry for the disruption in service.

Hey, Colleen, look left - it's only 4 days, 21 hours, and some minutes until the NHL draft. *g*

for cee
cause this is what I'm doing instead of working on fixing the comments...

comments are down for the nonce. *sigh* sorry...

The Sporting News needs new headline writers:

"Red Wings shock 'Canes in third OT"

Um, no. A "shock" would be if, say, you scored the tying goal late in the last period of regulation and then scored a GWG early on in the first OT. Winning after three regulation periods and then three OT periods does not constitute a "shock." A grind, maybe. Yeah. "Red Wings grind 'Canes in third OT."

an open letter to bob hartley, inspired by blatant rumour-mongering

Dear Mr. Hartley,

First off, let me congratulate you on a great season and a stellar playoff effort. The words "gritty determination" continue to characterise your team.

It is, in fact, for this reason that I have to ask you, with all due respect, what on *earth* you are thinking to even consider trading Dru - were you watching him in the playoffs at all? - for Bill Guerin. Bill Guerin's a great guy and a great forward, but let's not make the mistake of trading young for old and down for up. Part of the Avalanche offence is the swiftness of its skaters and Bill Guerin is no Joe Sakic.

The rumour about Bobby Holik?

Please.

Moving right along, if I may be so bold as to suggest a trade that may actually benefit the entire team...

By now you realise, no doubt, that the Disease was a mistake. Podein would have been much more help in the playoffs than Kasparaitis was. Besides, Patty doesn't like him. 'nuff said. Therefore I think it would behoove you to trade the Big Foot Disease for a defenceman worth his salt, namely, one Adam Deadmarsh, late of the Colorado Avalanche, currently exiled to the LA Kings.

Think about it.

And, oh, about Holik...if Kasparaitis didn't fit in, what on God's green earth makes you think Bobby Holik will? Spend your money on Elias and Sykora, or even Arnott. Don't waste it on puck-kicking Neanderthals!

With best regards,

AuK

from Cee:



"No, sir, we're not entirely sure *what* happened... We think maybe the Pod!Goalie went back to Uranus. We sent the bounty hunter after him, and he hasn't reported back yet. Got boarded hard on his way out, sir, might not make it. No, no, sir, we haven't managed to pinpoint the location of the KryRef. As soon as we do, an assassin *will* be dispatched. Also, it has been confirmed that not *only* did one Colleen Kane of New York City take off her jersey in the third period, claiming it was too hot, she also *fell asleep* during the third intermission. We're sending Shanny to spank her."

We have now amassed five separate (?) theories to explain last night.

1) the tried and true "Invasion of the Goalie Snatchers" wherein both teams had Pod!Goaltenders - Hasek's double was in place as early as Game 6;

2) realitycek's Hasek/Forsberg theory (a love so deep, so true, so hidden that even the announcers didn't notice it):

auk: poor adam
r: poor Patrique. poor Joe. poor all of 'em.
r: except Fuckberg.
auk: except him
auk: this is all HIS fault
r: uh-huh
r: I wonder how much he was paid off to come back and fuck the playoffs...?
auk: fuckberg!
r: he's probably doing Hasek...
auk: I bet you're right!
auk: only he would stoop so low!
r: well, Hasek's pretty big, so he wouldn't have to stoop *that* low...*snerk*
auk: low, she says obstinately. So low he's UNDER the ice
r: ew
auk: and his MOUTH is cold too
auk: as cold as his beady little eyes and Hasek's floppy little trout flop
r: ::shudder::

3) S's first theory (later discarded in favour of theory number 4): that the Avs had too many injuries to win against the Canes so Bob told Patty to throw the game because losing to the Wings at least meant losing with dignity;

4) S's second theory (and the one he's currently going with - keep in mind that he is an ardent supporter of the "Wherever You Will Go" as outlining the deep yet doomed love between defenceman and goaltender theory as well): the Boston Mafia threatened Bourque's family so Patty would throw the game to protect "zee best defenceman who evAIR leeved"'s family;

and 5) (related somewhat to #1): Cancer Man was reportedly seen in the audience behind the net, holding an umbrella; there were also reports of a one-armed man on the ice (posing as McCreary) as well as a Mighty Morphing Bounty Hunter (posing as Chelios)...

realitycek, you *rock*!

I swear to God Roy does #6 and #8. And, far too often, #12.

::snerk::

So I cracked myself up in the shower today...

Picture (said my head to my eyes), if you will: Battaglia, Brind'amour, and Cole. All settled in by 6:45 with their beer and their popcorn. Or their cheesy bread. Whatever. They're a little down 'cause they didn't clinch the last game, but, hell, the Leafs have had to call up NINE guys from the AHL since this started, and they're still feelin' damn good. Look how far they've come, if they can just rattle Cujo, if Irbe stays solid, right, they're gonna go to the Cup! Yeah!

So they bitch a little about how the stupid baseball games always run long and they hope that they get to see face off. Which they do, amazingly, 'cause ESPN finally apparently got its shit together on the whole "hockey is cool!" thing.

And they watch.

And they cheer.

And they jeer.

And about halfway through the second period, they start getting quiet. They rally a little in the intermission, finish off another beer.

Watch the third period in silence.

Watch the OT in slackjawed amazement.

They don't say much after the game.

'Cause you know what just occurred to 'em?

"If we win Tuesday night... we have to face one of THOSE teams..."

"Shiiiiiiiit..."

Sleep well, boys.

::chortle::

Kellie, our woman in the streets in Boulder, has this to report:

They're doing a postgame show at some bar in Denver-- "The obnoxious Wings fan who was here earlier has left to go check in with his parole officer."

::chortle::

She also said St Patrick spoke highly of Adam in the post-game radio interview. He didn't *mention* Ray that she heard, but she missed some of the interview. And certainly it appeared that Patty was looking up into the stands with yearning eyes as he skated off the ice after the game.

Hee!

Type "hockey" into LimeWire's all files search... and you get some pretty cool things. Which I will share as time permits. But the most important, and just in time for the game tomorrow, is an .avi file of the Roy-Osgood fight. For those of you who've heretofore missed the full effect of Insane Bowl Haircut Goaltender, this is a must.

I've put a link to it in the side column. It's about 4.7Mb.

at least he's honest...

Irbe, who didn't even start the first two games of the Montreal series in the previous round, was outstanding -- if not sometimes lucky -- is turning away 31 shots Thursday for his first career playoff shutout.

“I felt a little better than in previous games,” said the 35-year-old Irbe. “I also got a couple of lucky saves -- the puck hitting me. (Sportsnet.ca)

And at least he doesn't flop around like a trout on a riverbank. *koff*

In other news, Cee and I voted Erik Cole as having the biggest cojones in the NHL for laughing as he got up after Gary Roberts body-checked him right down into the ice.

So when Cee's not around to be annoyed by me, poor Kellie nobly throws herself on the altar of the hockey gods.

auk: Announcers are talking about Roy wandering - "It seems like Roy wants to be a defenceman sometimes."
auk: Defenceman hell - I think he wants to be a centre.
kellie: Yeah.
auk: Bourque's there!!!
auk: they just showed him smiling proudly!
auk: No wonder Patty's playing well!
kellie: Yeah!
kellie: They just mentioned that on the radio!
auk: "Only guy who won a cup in one city and had a parade in another."
auk: boy Kellie he's there a LOT...
kellie: Heh.
auk: considering he uh retired so he could spend more time in Boston with his kids...
auk: *koff*
kellie: Yeah. Well-- maybe he took his kids to the game?
auk: *KOFF*
auk: yeah. Yeah, that's it.
kellie: He's there with his wife.
auk: They must have been off buying hotdogs.
auk: So was she.
kellie: Must be.
auk: He'll get his hotdog later.
auk: <--cracking herself up
kellie: ROFLMAO!!!

rebuttal:

Yeah just replace that guy with a chick... that's me.

During a Colorado power play, Roy skated well beyond the circles to play the puck. Maltby took advantage of Roy being so far from his net by forcing the goalie to bite on a fake before getting beat with a backhander.

Roy stayed on his knees in disbelief as the crowd went wild.

"There's nothing else I could have done," Roy said defiantly. "What did you want me to do, give the guy a breakaway?"

No, sweetie. We just wanted you to stay in net!

Notes: Before the Detroit Tigers played Cleveland at Comerica Park, a few miles from Joe Louis Arena, the winner of an octopus-throwing contest got to leave the baseball game to attend the hockey game.

Do those guys in Detroit know how to party or what?

What a game... not only the Dury goal but the Adam WWF body slam in the third - hell, that was worth the price of admission.

Whoo hoo!

A memo to the parents of future hockey players:

Think about what you're doing.

Mr. and Mrs. Battaglia, what were you thinking? "Bates"?

And Mr. and Mrs. Probert, there in the corner, yeah, you. Robert Probert? You did that on purpose, didn't you.

All right. I'm finished.

For the moment.

Go, Avs!

and okay just bear with me here 'cause this one's too good to pass up:



Poor Avs. Nasty refs.

So who are we supposed to be rooting for in the Memorial Cup? How come that's not televised in the States? Huh? Huh?

And another one from Kellie that kind of sums up the playoff season thus far:

from Kellie. For Boo. Hee.

Sent to us by the astute goon-loving Denise, who has her priorities straight. I mean, clearly. There she is surfing salon.com and what does she find? And, more importantly, send?

Ha!

God, how cool was Adam's fight in the 3rd? Helmet off and *all*! Even the erstwhile was cheering loudly. And I was hexing my heart out from Ohio - every time they even said "Ricci" I crossed my eyes, stuck out my tongue, and made a "Sloth!" kind of noise.

I'll give my firstborn to anyone who comes up with screencaps of that *great* fight...

Fuckin' Patty fuckin' wanders, eh, but it's oKAY 'cause he posted his 22nd career playoff shutout last night. The person I felt worst for was Nabokov - he's a hell of a good netminder.

And for those keeping track, yeah, I still can't stand Fuckberg.

But I'll take his goals, thanks.

And, hey, Cee, we all know the Avs play in a hellhole full of rats where the ice is mushy. But there's nothing wrong with losing to the Wings. It's losing to SLOTHS I can't stomach.

Insane Bowl Haircut GoaltendAIR - you ROCK!

right way	wrong way

I love these guys...

THE MUMMY: Canadiens defenceman Sheldon Souray, playing despite a broken bone in his left hand and a separated left shoulder, had much of his upper body wrapped in a cast and a sling after a team skate on Thursday morning.
“The Mummy returns,” Souray joked.
Despite his ailments, the big defenceman has played some of the best hockey of his career in this year's playoffs.
He missed 44 games with a fracture of a small bone at the base of his left hand. The bone has not healed, but he has been able to play while wearing a slip-on cast, which is changed for each game.
He separated his shoulder when checked head-first into the boards from behind by Carolina's Jeff O'Neill in Game 1 last Friday.
Souray left the game, but was back for Game 2 and even threw a check with the injured shoulder. O'Neill received a one-game suspension.
Souray said he was inspired by team captain Saku Koivu to play with pain. Koivu returned on April 9 after a season-long battle with cancer.
He also credits Koivu with helping him to become a better player.
“Being injured over the last two seasons gave me time to think about the way I've been playing and the way I thought about the game,” said Souray. “I was alwayshappy just to be in the NHL.
“Saku's made a big difference to me this year. He was my roommate this year and I had a chance to talk to him a lot.
“I made lifestyle changes but the main thing was attitude -- that this is a chance to make a name for yourself.”
Souray described his lifestyle changes as “taking things more seriously, picking your spots as to when to go out, nutrition -- it's all those things together.”
He also learned from his former defence mates with the New Jersey Devils, Ken Daneyko and Scott Stevens.
“Those guys were absolute animals, but they took care of themselves and their dedication was something else,” said Souray.

"They were scoring goals, that was the difference," Hasek said. "A lot of their shots went in. What can I say?"

How about "I suck!"?

sigh

two five on threes and five consecutive power plays... who needs to play good hockey when you got the refs in your pocket and a whiny coach on the bench?

sigh

Adam looked good.

"Uh, Mr. Hartley? Mr. Hartley? Yeah, Detroit's on the phone... uh, they want their goalie back."

sigh

You have to laugh, right? 'Cause, I mean, otherwise the prospect of Ricci scoring a goal on St. Patrick would just cause grown women to run for the drawer of sharp implements.

And let it be understood that I was home in time for face off. Unfortunately fucking ESPN wasn't. The last boring minutes of a boring baseball game were apparently more important than the defending champions playing the beginning of the Stanley Cup semifinal round.

NHL Awards: Go, insane bowl haircut man!

Steve Reinprecht (pictured, right) celebrates with Adam Foote (left) after scoring in the Avs' 4-0 win over the Kings.


Second-period flurry helps Avalanche top Kings in Game 7 April 29, 2002

DENVER -- Patrick Roy proved again why he's considered the best big-game goalie in the NHL.

Roy stopped 23 shots and Colorado scored three goals in the second period as the Avalanche beat the Los Angeles Kings 4-0 on Monday night in a Game 7 rematch of last year.

"It's all about emotions in the playoffs and there is a guy, when it's up and down, he's always in control," said Colorado defenseman Adam Foote, who scored an empty-net goal with 3:13 left.

Aww, nice save, Adam. Nice goal too. But we know the real reason that Roy won. We know the real reason Ray wasn't sitting at the ESPN sports desk teasing Barry about cutting off The Mullet.

Oh yes we do and I think the announcers gave it away near the beginning of the second period:

"Patrick Roy, who normally likes to play that position on his knees..."

That's right... Ray was in Colorado last night. I was home in time for face off, and Patty's one true love was in the stands.

It made for a grrrrreat game 7.

AuKestrel: BARRY CUT HIS MULLET!!!!!!!!
ceekane: OH MAN!
ceekane: NO!
AuKestrel: OH MY GOD!
ceekane: it's the end of an era, man
AuKestrel: OH MY GOD!
ceekane: holy shit!
ceekane: but more importantly, is Ray with him?
AuKestrel: No
ceekane: hmmm
AuKestrel: I HOPE Ray's in CO where he fuckin' beLONGs.
ceekane: inquiring minds want to know zee whereabout of Mssr. Bourque...
ceekane: gloryholing in the dressing room, eh
ceekane: "Hey, Pat, whatcha doin?"
AuKestrel: let's HOPE
ceekane: "Nozzing!! Go aWAY!!"
AuKestrel: keep hoping they'll show Ray on the Megatron...
AuKestrel: *G*
ceekane: hoo
ceekane: hands clasped to his chest with a mix of pride and longing....
ceekane: batting his eyelashes
ceekane: wish I was an artist, I have a perfect mental picture of Longing!Ray, with great big huge anime eyes
AuKestrel: Sucking!Ray...
ceekane: oh my
AuKestrel: "No, really, Patty, c'mon! Whatcha doin'?"
ceekane: "I say, NOZZING!"
ceekane: ::stage whisper:: "Unh. Ah, oui, Raymond, oui, deepair..."
ceekane: "Ooh, Raymond... Oui, c'est si bon, c'est si... chaud... Ah..."
AuKestrel: "PATTY! C'MON!"
ceekane: <- laughing too hard to translate
ceekane: "Si doux, mon cher, c'est parfait, oui, droite la... droite.... la..."
AuKestrel: "INTERMISSION'S OVER! Jesus, Adam, will you go fucking get the fuckin' goaltender?"
ceekane: "Uh uh uh... la, la... LA.... ahhhhhhh."
ceekane: (you know we're going to hell, right?)
AuKestrel: (yeah yeah yeah)

Avs 4, LA 0 (yes, I was home in time for face off)

And Adam got an empty net goal!

You want respect, Andy Murray? You gotta earn it, eh. Ha!

sigh...

VANCOUVER 0, DETROIT 4
BOSTON 5, MONTREAL 2
CHICAGO 3, ST. LOUIS 5
LOS ANGELES 1, COLORADO 0 (OT)

See what happens when I'm not home in time for face-off?

NHL
CAROLINA 3, NEW JERSEY 2 OT
NY ISLANDERS 4, TORONTO 3
OTTAWA 3, PHILADELPHIA 0
SAN JOSE 2, PHOENIX 1

Not a thug, eh. Appearances are deceiving. Allison hit him first. Twice.


Just because.

Deadmarsh left the game in the first 15 seconds of the third period. He smacked helmet-first into the boards while chasing Colorado's Adam Foote, whose left leg also got in Deadmarsh's way.

Well, that's one way to put it. How about "The goon was putting some serious hits on Adam (15 in the first period) and this time Adam got out of the way first and he went down!"

Ha.

Boston@ 3
Montreal 5 (Montreal leads series 2-1)

Carolina@ 1
New Jersey 3 (series tied 2-2)

Toronto@ 1
NY Islanders 6 (Toronto leads series 2-1)

St. Louis@ 1
Chicago 0 (St. Louis leads series 3-1)

Colorado@ 1
Los Angeles 0 (Colorado leads series 3-1)

Detroit@ 4
Vancouver 2 (Series tied 2-2)

Well, the good news is the Sharks beat the Corndogs...

SENATORS 3, FLYERS 0
KINGS 3, AVS 1
SHARKS 4, COYOTES 1

And Roy seems to be developing a sense of humour:

> From: AuKestrel
> Date: Sat, 20 Apr 2002 17:58:26 -0400
> To: C K
> Subject: Aww...
>
> They just showed a shot of Roy after the game, the camera on him, and he must
> have known it because he didn't even crack a grin, but he... winked. Solemnly.
> It was cute.
>
> A

So I'm googling for the original owner of the Nordiques and I come across this. Pretty cool.

NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE - ORIGINS of NHL TEAM NAMES (team-by-team breakdown)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anaheim Mighty Ducks - Disney CEO Michael Eisner named the team after the hit Disney movie "The Mighty Ducks".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boston Bruins - Businessman Charles Adams wanted his new franchise to have brown and yellow team colors to match his stores as well as a name equated with strength and power. A fan named the team in a contest.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buffalo Sabres - The management held a contest and chose Sabres. Team officials wanted a fresh new name not being used in the pros, and something other than buffalo/bison variations.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Calgary Flames - Given to the team when it was in Atlanta to commemorate the burning of the city in the Civil War. When the team moved to Calgary, management held a contest/vote, and the fans chose to keep the Flames name, which also relates to Alberta's petroleum industry.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chicago Blackhawks - Original owner Frederic McLaughlin named the team in honor of the Black Hawk Battalion he served with in WWI. The unit was named after a Chief Black Hawk. The name was merged to Blackhawks several years ago.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dallas Stars - Dallas is in Texas, the Lone STAR state. Also, when the team was in Minnesota, hockey fans chose the Minnesota state motto "Etoile du Nord" (Star of the North).
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Detroit Red Wings - Then team president James Norris named it in honor of a team he had played with - the Montreal Winged Wheelers. The logo was perfect for the Motor City.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edmonton Oilers - The management held a contest and chose Oilers, reflecting the importance of the oil industry. They kept the name when it moved from the World Hockey Association (WHA) to the National Hockey League.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Florida Panthers - H. Wayne Huizenaga wanted to draw attention to the panther, an endangered native wildcat of Florida.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hartford Whalers - When originally in the WHA, club was named New England Whalers for two reasons: (1) Massachusetts seaport towns connected to whaling; (2) the name had WHA in it (WHAlers). Name later changed to Hartford Whalers. [Now Carolina Hurricanes]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Los Angeles Kings - Two possible reasons: (1) The management held a contest and chose the name; (2) Jack Kent Cooke named them the Kings via executive decision, giving no specific reason.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Montreal Canadiens Representing the nationality of the players on the team. Originally, the team had only French Canadian players.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New Jersey Devils - Comes from a legend: a witch allegedly gave birth to a demon known as "Jersey Devil" in 1735. The Jersey Devil was alleged to be a half-man, half-beast that stalked N.J.'s Pine Barrens or the area surrounding Lake Hopatcong for 250 years, causing fear and terror and basically mutilating his victims in an extreme display of guts and gore. Others say the Devil was the 13th child of Mother Leeds, jinxed by gypsies. [aka the Swamp Goblins]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New York Islanders - The team is based in Uniondale, Long Island, N.Y.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New York Rangers - MSG President Tex Rickard's team unofficially known as Tex's Rangers (a play on Texas Rangers police), but Rangers was the official name.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ottawa Senators - In honor of old Ottawa Senators hockey team that won 6 Stanley Cups. Originally: as Canada's capital, the nickname for 1901 amateur team.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Philadelphia Flyers - After 25,000 entries, a committee chose Flyers, although the winning entry by a kid was spelled Fliers, because it went phonetically with Philadelphia.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pittsburgh Penguins - The management held a contest and chose Penguins, partly because the team is in PENnsylvania.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quebec Nordiques - Committee named them Nordiques (then in the WHA) because they were the northernmost team in pro hockey at 52 degrees North, 72 degrees West. [now the Colorado Avalanche]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
St. Louis Blues - Then owner Sid Salamon, Jr., drew inspiration from the famous song by W.C. Handy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
San Jose Sharks - Out of 5,000 entries, officials picked Sharks. 7 varieties in Pacific Ocean, several shark research facilities in area. One part of Bay Area is known as Red Triangle due to its shark population.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tampa Bay Lightning - Tampa Bay is the lightning capital of the world.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Toronto Maple Leafs - Two possible reasons: (1) Then owner Conn Smythe drew inspiration from an old Toronto team called the East Maple Leaves; (2) when Conn Smythe bought the Toronto St. Patricks, his first act was to rename the team after the Maple Leaf Regiment of the First World War, as well as for the maple leaf on the Canadian flag. Originally, the team was known as the Arenas, then renamed St. Patricks, supposedly to attract the Irish.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vancouver Canucks - The nickname was taken from a Canadian folk hero. The legend says that Johnny Canuck was a great logger, and was a skater and a hockey player in his spare time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Washington Capitals - Washington, D.C. is the capital of the U.S.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Winnipeg Jets - Then owner Ben Hatskin asked his pal Sonny Werblin, then owner of the National Football League's New York Jets, for permission. [now the Phoenix Coyotes]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Casey NJ: Ray, Congrats on your career. Great seeing you alongside Barry in the booth too. In your opinion, who is the most fiery competitor in the playoffs you have ever played with or against.
Ray Bourque: (3:51 PM ET ) I've got to say Patrick Roy. He's a major competitor -- he wants to win every game and he wants to play perfect all the time. He's a very emotional guy. You see it just by how he plays.

Okay, am I just stupid or does anyone else see anything wrong with *this* picture:
(Hint: read the very last line first...)

"He (Cole) was awesome," Brodeur said. "He went head-to-head with Scotty the whole time and that's not an easy thing to do.
He was able to do great things out there. He's got a lot of speed, good size and doesn't look like he's afraid to go on the big guy's side out there." [kudos to Brodeur, too, btw, for being so generous - I knew I liked him.]
With 6:30 left in the third, Battaglia received a pass from Cole, who was behind Brodeur's net. Battaglia fired a shot from just above the crease that bounced off the left goalpost and into the corner.
Sykora had a chance to score from the slot with 90 seconds left in the third, but Irbe got his left arm on it to deny him.
"To tell you the truth, I just wanted to get it to the net and make the best of my chance," Sykora said. "He made a great save on me and maybe that was the difference in the game."
Carolina, which has won just one playoff series since joining the league as the Hartford Whalers for the 1979-80 season, has not won the first two games of a series since 1987. The Whalers proceeded to drop the next four games to the Quebec Nordiques and lose the series.
Even though the Hurricanes have a two-game lead, they are anything but overconfident.
"That's the New Jersey Devils over there," Cole said. "You can't count them out at all, that's for sure. It's only going to get tougher for us."
The Devils have managed just one goal in each of the first two games.
"You know, I don't know if we've ever been in this situation before, but we have to pick up our scoring," Sykora said. "We cannot be happy with just one goal. We need to go back home and get things going and come back here 2-2."
The Hurricanes were without the services of defenseman David Tanabe, who suffered a broken right wrist in Game One. The 21-year old native of Minnesota was checked into the boards awkwardly by New Jersey's Jay Pandolfo and is expected to miss three weeks.
Veteran defenseman Glen Wesley played his first game for Carolina since suffering a separated right shoulder in the Hurricanes' final regular season matchup with New Jersey on April 3. Wesley declared himself fit to play in Game One, but Maurice held him back.
"We want to be careful," Maurice said. "It would be, for his luck, that the first game back would go into overtime for him.
(I'm) surprised it didn't go two or three periods more for him, but he should be fine."
Nieuwendyk returned to the Devils' lineup after missing Game One with a stomach virus while Sykora was held out with a bruised right ankle.


D'you think they mean Elias had a chance to score from the slot with 90 seconds left?

You gotta wonder if they're *that* inseparable to the sports writers...

Man, I think the Avs ought to be looking at Irbe. And I was reminded why I love playoff hockey so when one of his teammates grabbed Bates Battaglia around the waist and hoisted him, literally, screaming and arms and legs waving, into the air. It was so cool.

Guess Coll and Rowan will have words on That MotherFUCKING Waste of Space in Front of the Net in Detroit, but kudos to Van for not getting cocky or rattled.

snark alert

from NHL.com:
Not having some of their snipers on the bench hurt the Devils in the finishing department. Just because you have more shots on goal than your opponent doesn't mean anything when you don't win the game. New Jersey found that out the hard way Wednesday night when they were forced to go without Joe Nieuwendyk (flu), Petr Sykora (foot) and Stephane Richer (bruised foot). Add to that list Scott Gomez, who's been out since April 1 with broken hand and you can see why the Devs had trouble filling the net.

Why's Gomez worried about his hand? You don't kick the puck with your HAND, Scotty!

ISLES 1, TORONTO 3
HABS 5, BRUINS 2
BLACKHAWKS 2, BLUES 1
AVALANCHE 4, KINGS 3

Go, Avs! Go, Hawks!

Habs was a hell of a game, too, but the Hawks had me biting my nails.

You know you're in trouble, Toronto, when you have to depend on Domi for goals...

cee: Okay, so Ray's analysing the playoffs with Barry M
auk: hee!
cee: looking very slick in a black suit, which is not Gucci but we'll forgive him
auk: yeah cause he's Ray eh
cee: and wearing more hairgel than I think I've ever seen... someone needs cut off his supply of Brylcream
cee: put the Brylcream DOWN, Ray, if we start washing today, we might get all that crap out of your hair by the finals...
auk: *g*
auk: did he mention, uh...
cee: anyway, so Barry says, he says, "Wouldn't it be weird for you if it came down to Colorado and Boston?"
auk: ..cause if he doesn't mention, uh...
cee: and Ray says, he says, "That would be a great series. I don't lose either way."
cee: and Barry says, "Can't win either way, is more like it"
auk: oh ho ho, Bair-REE, yu du not know vhat I know...
cee: and Ray says, he says, "Well, Boston's doing great things, they've come a long way, and I'd be real proud of 'em. But Colorado's got one thing they don't, you know, and that's Patrick Roy."
auk: 'f mah goaltendair ami wins, eh, Ah will hev a man on his knees prrrrrrraising me to the skies... between licks.
auk: OH!!!!
auk: HOO!!!
auk: Wuv, twue wuv...
cee: Ray does not have an accent anymore
auk: well he does when he's thknkng about St Patrick on his knees, eh.
cee: hee
cee: how do I send you a file?
auk: uh I dont know in Windows
auk: right click somewhere and see what it does...
auk: sg01? if this is a stargate file I'll hurt you..
cee: for, like, inspiration, eh
auk: oh. Ho ho ho. [Seth Green pic]
auk: I think my inner Mark just sat up and went "woof!"
auk: OhMyGod!
cee: I thought it might
auk: Van just won, Henrik Sedin
cee: fuckin' Weasley
auk: FUCKIN' weasley eh
cee: well, there goes that sweep I had planned
auk: sokay hon. They'll put Legace in net...
cee: snerk
cee: what they need is... dunno, a Gretzky pep talk or something. stop playin' like fuckin' idiots, eh
cee: So, Fuckberg's back tomorrow night
cee: look at this picture, they look like they're holding hands crossing the street like in Madeline
auk: LOL!
auk: is Philly still on?
cee: dunno
auk: make me pick up the remote eh...
cee: philly won in OT
cee: Fedotenko
auk: tyk!
cee: go Phlyers go Phlyers
cee: and JR DID come back in the 3rd, and got hisself a penalty while he was at it
cee:
Roy rambles ad nauseum about Ray in the Philadelphia Inquirer
auk: That has to go in the blog... along with the Ray quotes...
auk: clearly his affection is returned...
cee: oh yeah
cee: on ESPN2, no less
auk: I bet Roy is just fucking SAILING tonight.
auk: His beloved idol said NICE things about him on NATIONAL TV...
cee: "Ray spoke of me well!"

Heh heh heh. JR hockey - have to admit my opinion of him went up. I guess Phlyers could go all the way. And Irbe was fuckin' on last night - poor Devils don't have a chance against netminders with forcefields...

But the Sharks beat the Corndogs! I'm supremely happy!

Recap:
VAN 4, DET 3 (OT)
Beth noted a nascent romance in chat last night: DET, Chelios (Roughing), 6:44; VAN, Bertuzzi (Roughing), 6:44. The course of true love...
OTT 0, PHI 1 (OT)
NJ 1, CAR 2
PHX 1, SJ 2

Okay, guys, so who is it in the first round? C'mon...

I'll open with the Western Conference:

Avs, 'cause they have Adam
Wings, 'cause they have ZombieBoy, Shanny, and Stevie (although Cloutier might make a fool outta that Fuckin' Waste of Space in Front of the Net (tm))
I plump for the Hawks 'cause I think Thibault's gotten a bad rap this year - Hawks've had a hell of a year, eh.
And San Jose 'cause I hate the fuckin' Corndogs!

Well, I didn't *buy* anything but it *was* cool, eh, r. Cooler than trying to pick up Angel where I left off before the hockey season got underway... ::snerk::

I've discovered three playoff fantasy hockey sites. Sportsnet.ca is doing a "shootout," faceoff.com has one similar to their regular season game, and The Sporting News/Bench Boss has one similar to *their* regular season (this last one is NOT free, it's $9.95 and you get 30 million to build a small team of two wings, a centre, two D, and one goalie - and lemme tell you, 30mil is NOT enough money, considering who all is *in* the playoffs and therefore who might reasonably be expected to have a shot at it).

aukestrel.com email continues to be down, can't really say when it will be back up, although they said 24-48 hours.

I'm sooorry! It's the damned fish. I have a catfish who mutters to his rocks the way Roy mutters to his pipes, who swallows neon tetras in a single gulp, who is, in short, a murderous insane bowl haircut catfish.
Between him and the bobbleheads, I'm just deeply depressed.

Watching the Avs struggle for second seed isn't helping. Grr. How bad is it when I'm actively rooting for the Blues?

I'll second the Tkeith Tknomination, eh, 'cause he looks like Mark.
OHyeah.

Shaddup! Just... just...

It's that damned announcer playing with his bobblehead Adam and Bertuzzi, I'm telling you. It took all the heart out of the Avs. How can you take a game seriously when a grown man is making bobbleheads talk to each other, with voices and bobbles and everything?

I ask you.

So all I really have to say is - "Go Bluejackets!"

MINNESOTA 3, SAN JOSE 1

That's what I'm talkin' about!

(That leaves the Avs still holding onto 2nd seed, so Go Wild!)

I can't like the Stars either. Belfour is a puck kicker and you gotta be a pretty big asshole to be a puck kicking netminder, eh.

You know what? I have to go back to work tomorrow with a 72+ hr migraine... and I don't care. 'Cause the Avs won tonight! Beat the Blues, 4-2, with a last second empty net goal by Mighty Joe to top it all off! Roy gave Aebischer the sweetest little pep talk in the last thirty seconds, eh. Wonder what he said..."I tell you vhat the grrrreatest defenceman to evair play ze game told to me..."

AND to top it off the fucking Ducks are beating Dallas 2-1 going into the third. Hoo-ah!

Mystery du jour: tonight Adam had an A and Keane had an A, and Blake didn't. What, are Blake and Adam trading off? Does it depend on whose jersey came back from the cleaners with the A?

Greg de Vries is the smartest man in hockey. Look what he says. More importantly, look who he drinks with.

"We are playing," de Vries announced to fellow Colorado Avalanche defensemen Rob Blake and Adam Foote, "with the greatest goalie who ever lived."

Admittedly, the hour was late and the tab was open. But still. Thank you, Sports Illustrated, for a feature article on Insane Bowl Haircut Montreal Chainsaw Massacre Goalie, and thank you, Greg, for taking up Ray Bourque's banner.

I was too disgusted by Adam's gratuitous suspension (unless he's serving Roy's in which case that's marginally better) to even watch the game last night - which they better fucking well have won, it being the Predators and all - so I'll concur, this morning, with realitycek: Go, Habs!

And I guess Captain Puck Kicker deserves a grudging "Many happy returns of the day."

Happy Fertility Rites of Spring to All...

If you missed yesterday's Avs game, you missed a hell of a game. The fucking puck kicking Coy-dogs won but it was a close game and best of all was when Roy went after the ref and got thrown out about 10 minutes into the third period. Go, Insane Bowl Haircut Man! That ref was lucky he didn't have a chainsaw, eh?

And then Adam got thrown out about 6 minutes later when he tried to avenge his goaltender. See? Noble. Pure-hearted. Knightly, even. So not a thug! IMHO. *g*

Today's gonna be heavy on the visual aids.

Wrong way to score a goal:


Right way to score a goal:


Despite the early goal on Roy of the Ugliest Man in the NHL (tm), the Avs pulled it out, 3-2. Adam and Selanne went at it all night - it was an awesome game. The Sharks announcers do not like Adam. Heh heh.

In other news:

I have solved the mystery of the missing "A" from Adam's uniform.


The fuckheads gave it to Keane! What the fuck is up with that? Adam's been with the franchise since he was fucking drafted! I didn't see Keane out there giving Roy hugs and pep talks after the second (and last) SJ goal (a la Bourque). Adam keeps St Patrick on an even keel. For that, if nothing else, he deserves that fuckin' A. Eh.

I should be doing some work I brought home. But H wanted to watch "the hockey show." That used to mean Game 7 but Game 7 lives in my coworker's basement for the nonce. She found the Stanley Cup 2001 video I bought at the HHofF and decided she wanted to watch that. Now she's dancing around screaming at the screen and waving her KOHO stick. (It's actually O's but, you know, everything in our house is actually hers and we're just allowed to use them.)

To drag this back on topic (clearly I'm not working on Powerpoint), my loathing for Forsberg has reached new depths. He calls Bourque "Borkie" and Sakic "Sackie."

Jesus God.

Robin. Kicks. Supreme. ASS!

Thank you, Robin! This only entailed moving my site to a new server but... here we are. Comments intact, eh.

Poor Mike... :-(

Richter Suffers Skull Fracture

{{hugs}} to Colleen... and Mike.

+++

I am still trying to do the blogkomm comments so if you are trying to post today, things may at times seem nuts. At some point the index.html will change to index.php if, that is, I can figure out this damned comment doohickey. Robin came up with ideas on how to get around the fact that my server doesn't seem to want to default to a php so hopefully links won't have to change.

I had the comments actually working for about three seconds last night, or, at least, posting. I was tired and befuddled and went to bed when I started getting weird error messages. Maybe at lunch today I'll have time and patience to futz with it some more.

realitycek finds the best couches...

Oh, man, Deb, I'm so glad you're willing to give Mark a fair shot, eh. Hope you enjoy it. I'm all pins and needles biting my nails now...heh.

{sloshes rounds of single malt Scotch for everyone, including those behind the couch and the potted (pot?) plant}

Courtesy of realitycek:

Slap Shot II news

Missed 'em by ONE DAY!

http://www.canoe.ca/TorontoNews/ts.ts-03-26-0002.html

OTOH, Slap Shot II is due out momentarily!

"I saw Patrick fighting on the other side,'' Hasek said. "My responsibility is to get there and help my teammates, but I stepped on a stick a couple of feet from Patrick and I slipped down. I am here to help my teammates. I was ready. If something happens, I am ready for him any time.''

If, that is, you Fucking Waste of Space in Front of the Net (tm), your teammates will benefit from your astounding skills at tripping over sticks. It's not as if they're benefitting particularly from that vast empty whistling wilderness in front of the net that is your usual contribution.

There. I feel better now.

I am back... and if the erstwhile didn't tape the glorious Hasek massacre there will be trouble...

Hockey Hall of Fame... God, it's so *fucking* much fun to go with someone who knows who Kiprusoff is. Thanks, Beth, for putting up with me in my Team Canada jersey dragging you there (and then to an indie hockey movie). And for risking lynching 'cause I can't stop myself from making fun of The Great Ego. We made up stories at the Hockey Hall of Fame a la Rowan and Colleen as we were looking at all the historical jerseys. We were sure that you guys would know all the gossip behind them. But our made up stuff was fun too.

The Rhino Brothers. Currently playing at the Carlton in Toronto and who knows where else. Get it on VHS when it comes out. It was a very disturbing and cool film about the, ah, darker side of hockey obsessions and mother-son relationships.

I do have photos... will put them up as soon as I can (probably not until tomorrow, eh).